Message Balls Blog

I was wanting to see more of God’s provision in my life, yet it still seemed so unreal not having to do anything, other than to rest. As the lessons from Restville continued, I would learn more about what has made divine provision a reality and what keeps me from receiving it. God has a way of explaining things through circumstances in my life that I can’t seem to get from only studying the Bible. When lessons started indicating it was time to leave the law behind in order for me to receive all that’s been provided, God literally laid it all out on the table where it suddenly became clear.

Lessons on the difference between God’s law and grace that first began back in Zacchaeusville now seemed to be showing up everywhere. And again I was being encouraged to leave the law behind and to continue on under grace. But how do I live without the law? And why would I want to? I didn’t understand. The journey to understanding began with a question in my Bible study lesson. It was a personal question that asked if there was a sin I needed to confess. Nothing immediately came to mind, but after some thought, I did think of something I wasn’t being completely honest about. Although I’d committed to taking care of my mother, secretly I didn’t want to.

As good as it felt to finally admit it, I didn’t expect anything more. But the next morning I woke up with a verse of scripture on my mind–”My grace is sufficient for you”–and just knew it was God’s answer to what I had confessed. Not only was I inspired by getting the same answer the apostle Paul was given, I also took it as confirmation that God wanted me to care for my mother rather than any of the other more popular alternatives. It should have been enough to overcome any obstacle but by the next week, as I was running out of easy meal ideas to leave my mom, I found myself asking, “Lord, where is this grace, and how does it work exactly?” And so my lessons on grace began.

While trying the best I could to care for my mother, each week I was learning that nothing is too hard for the Lord. I also learned that everything I need for life and godliness has been supplied through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. More than forgiveness and the way to heaven, I learned it was actually an elaborate plan to give back to man, through Jesus’s obedience, everything that was lost in the Garden of Eden. Yet, with all I’d learned about grace, I still didn’t understand why I needed to leave the law behind.

All the lessons seemed to come together at the Bible study potluck brunch. I had been absent when the food sign up sheet went around and by the time I returned all the spots had been filled. My leader told me to just come and enjoy. I decided I would since, by grace, everything had already been provided but as the time grew near I started to feel like I didn’t deserve to enjoy the brunch unless I brought something. That’s when I saw so clearly that I was judging myself by what I do, instead of what Jesus did for me, and how it can keep me from receiving God’s blessings in my life.

Realizing that I was allowing or rejecting blessings into my life by what I felt I deserved made me wonder what other provisions I had been denying myself. How many other times had I said “no” to a blessing because I felt I hadn’t earned it? That’s when I finally saw how continuing under the old testament law, where forgiveness and blessings were earned by keeping the law, was making it harder to accept what Jesus did for me. I finally understood that trying to earn what Jesus has done for me only keeps me struggling in my own limited abilities when my life could be so much more with God’s grace at work instead. I don’t want to miss out on anything God has for me so I’ve decided to stop judging myself by the law, and just accept God’s wonderful gift . . . and enjoy.

I finally accepted that my mother could no longer stay by herself when I checked on her and saw that she hadn’t eaten anything I’d left for her two days earlier. That’s when I packed some of her things and took her home with me. Life got a lot harder with my mom living with us, yet I found myself doing things I had never been able to do before all the lessons on grace. Once I started trusting God with my mom and believing His grace was sufficient for whatever my needs were, I began to see how much more got done in my day, and how much more easily. The times when life got hard, I took as a signal that I was trying to do things in my own strength instead of relying on God’s grace. I don’t know how God does some of the things, and sometimes it still seems too good to be true, but now I know it is true. Not because I’m good, but because God is good, and He loves me.

Experiencing a deeper understanding of grace, that so unexpectedly came from a moment of honesty with God, had me wanting more. Since everything I need is there, I decided to stay in Graceville to see what else God would show me about His incredible gift and how it works in my life. And it wasn’t long before He went to work showing me a new way of looking at . . . myself.

To be continued . . . see Image Avenue

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 27th, 2017 at 6:04 pm and is filed under The road to the greater life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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