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My cousin, Pastor Linda, had gone with Jim and me to Tom’s memorial service and spoke there about forgiveness. On the way home, out of the blue, she told me I was a genius. Thinking she was kidding, I laughed and said, “That’s crazy!” She was serious, though, and kind of upset that I would laugh. She then told me to stop mocking her. I didn’t say any more about it, but I still didn’t believe her.

The following day, still thinking about it, I searched my mind to see what there was about me that would make Linda believe I was a genius. That’s when the Lord said I do the same thing with Him–mock Him when I don’t believe what He says about me. Wow, I thought, now that’s really serious! You have my attention, Lord, I said. Then He related it to healing. Instead of accepting by faith that I’m healed by His stripes, he told me I search my body and other places for proof that I’m healed. I saw His point. I was doing the same thing by looking for evidence that I’m a genius instead of accepting the words given to me by faith.

First Linda, and then the Lord, saying I mock them? There must be something to it, but what exactly, I wasn’t sure. It seemed a lot similar to when I had trouble accepting that I’m precious in God’s eyes. So, I went back and reread my Precious Way blog. Seeing the lessons there made me think this could be either a test, a continuation, or possibly both. I had learned negative words spoken over me as a child can override what God or anyone says about me. Which makes it difficult to see myself doing anything greater than what I was told. My conclusion on Precious Way was that I shouldn’t judge how God sees me by what I think of myself but instead allow what God says about me to change how I see myself. Putting together what I’d been told so far on Mock Byway, I thought I might begin to see miracles if I accepted what God says about me. So, excitedly, I followed along to see what else I’d learn.

I wouldn’t have gone looking to learn about insecurity. But, Beth Moore’s book, So Long Insecurity, sort of found me one morning at church. When we showed up to greet, there were tables full of books out on the patio. The church library was closing, and they were giving all the books away. We were told to take a look to see if there were any we wanted. I looked through the books, and So Long Insecurity was the only book that interested me. Still, I wasn’t sure I’d read it. I like Beth Moore a lot. She’s fun to watch, but I feared I might get frustrated reading through her flowery stories to get to the meaty insights I really like. I had the time while waiting for books I’d ordered to come, and it was free, so I thought I’d see what it’s about.

I was surprised at how much I got out of it. Beth explained what insecurity is, where it comes from, and how it not only steals our peace and joy but also limits what God can do through us. I didn’t want that! I wondered if it could be the reason I wasn’t seeing healing miracles. It also made me wonder how I’d be able to do genius-level things while rejecting the thought of being a genius? My thinking was challenged when I read, “Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life. It also insults the grace of God that will be piled in heaps for us when hardship comes.” This line I read a few times and then wanted to write it on my wall… “The Creator of heaven and earth assigned us dignity and immeasurable value, and only when we finally accept those inalienable truths will we discover authentic security.” And this sentence kind of said it all, at least for me: “In the radiance of His greatness, we are made great.”

Soon after finishing So Long Insecurity, I received the book I’d been anxiously awaiting–Accelerated Healing by John Proodian. I’d seen the author interviewed on TV and was intrigued by his story. He was a pastor and prayed for people to be healed but saw no one healed in thirty years. He’d gotten to the point he was afraid to pray for people. When his wife needed prayer for her knee, they went to a healing conference. While his wife received healing, he received faith for a healing ministry when a 12-year-old girl, the size of a five-year-old, grew to normal size right before their eyes! How I’d love to see a miracle like that! Yet, there was more in the book to help develop my faith for healing. I found this to be a powerful statement, “If one understood and truly believed that Christ was in them, they’d never be afraid to lay hands on someone. And to not see that person healed would never enter into their thinking because, hey, Christ is in them.” Accelerated Healing was so powerful that I read it twice before passing it on to a friend. And reread it when she returned it a couple weeks later.

The lessons on Mock Byway seemed to come together while we were traveling on a train through Alaska. The tour guide was pointing out Glaciers, but I couldn’t see them. I was so confused. I was expecting to see a glacier in the water, but we were looking at mountains. The guide explained that glaciers are formed on the sides of mountains and eventually slide down into the water. When I heard the man next to me say, “I guess I need to redefine my idea of a glacier.” I knew I did too. And not just for glaciers. I needed to redefine my idea of myself. I always thought a genius was a brilliant person, much more intelligent than me. What I wasn’t taking into account was the Holy Spirit inside me. I needed to seriously start thinking of myself as not only me, but Jesus and me together in everything I do, and see what happens.

To be continued . . . see Miracle-Mile

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 3rd, 2021 at 3:30 pm and is filed under The road to the greater life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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