On my journey so far, God had been getting His messages to me at church and through books, songs, and other people. Though I seemed to recognize when it was from God, I was wanting to be able to hear from Him in a more direct way. I was also wanting increased faith. Both those desires were answered, quite amazingly, in Opportunityville.
It all started one Sunday morning at church while greeting, when one of my favorite associate pastors asked me if Jim and I would be interested in taking a 10 week leadership class. He briefly explained that the class would be taught by he and our head pastor at the time, and their wives. They were offering biblical leadership principles hoping to train future leaders for small group Bible studies. He asked me to talk it over with Jim, and then let him know our decision.
It turned out Jim wasn’t as interested in it as I was. He actually had no interest in being a group leader. The thought of being a group leader scared me, but I was excited about the opportunity to learn and spend time each week with these pastors. For some reason I had in my mind that my faith would increase just by being exposed to people I thought had great faith. Jim may have eventually gone along because I wanted to, but once we found out the class was being held on our bowling night, Jim was out. I struggled with it though. As much as I enjoyed bowling, and that time with Jim and the others on our team, I was having a hard time passing up the opportunity to spend time learning and growing from pastors I admired so much. It all went back and forth in my mind until a single thought made it very clear what my decision should be–could I put bowling above God?
The thought of putting bowling above God sounded really silly to me. I could tell that Jim wasn’t happy about the idea of me taking 10 weeks off from bowling, yet he did encourage me to go ahead on my own if I wanted. How would my teammates feel about it, though? I decided to talk it over with them before telling the pastor I would take the class. The next morning I woke up remembering something–the invitation was for both Jim and I. If Jim didn’t take the class, did it mean I couldn’t either, I wondered. So, I emailed the question to the pastor. His reply was that it’s important for couples to grow together. I had already noticed that Jim and I seemed to be growing at a different pace. The thought that it could cause a problem in our marriage hadn’t occurred to me. As much as I was wanting to grow in faith, I certainly wouldn’t want to hurt what Jim and I had together.
There was no way I was going to talk Jim out of bowling, besides there was also the financial aspect to consider. Even though we wouldn’t be bowling, we would still be responsible for the league fees each week. I was willing to bear it, but it would be expensive for both of us. There was so much adding up against this opportunity that I finally came to the conclusion that we should just wait until the next time they offer the class, and hope it’s on a different night of the week.
Tuesday night, after making my decision, I bowled a 200 game with 5 strikes in a row! I couldn’t help but take it as confirmation that I had made the right decision. I also shared with our teammates what I had been considering. I hadn’t thought they’d be happy about it, but their reaction surprised me. They were upset that I didn’t have the same level of commitment to the team that they had. Although I could see their point, I still thought I shouldn’t let it interfere with what God had for me to do. After talking with them, I was really glad I had already made the decision.
Feeling somewhat disappointed, I shared the story with my new Bible study group leader during a get-to-know-you lunch. I told her about the opportunity and how I wanted to take the class, not so much to be a group leader but, to be around people of great faith. She told me that putting my faith in people wasn’t a good idea, that I should always be looking to Jesus. When I heard her say it, I knew she was right. That night I had trouble sleeping. What we had talked about kept going through my mind and I felt bad when I realized I had been putting the person of great faith in-between me and God. So, I told God I was sorry, and that I was going to give up the idea.
The next morning I woke up to a couple thoughts that seemed to be speaking to me. The first thought said “You step into that position”. Not knowing what the thought was referring to, I said, “What?!” Immediately came another thought that said, “You be that person of great faith you are looking for”. Right away I knew it was God speaking to me. I knew because the idea of me being that person is something I wouldn’t have thought of. But, it did seem like something God would have. Then in my mind I saw myself step forward. My left foot stepped into the person of great faith, and my right foot stepped into the leadership position.
Sunday at church while I was greeting, again the pastor came to talk to me. I explained our conflict with the schedule, and that although I would be willing to skip bowling for the 10 weeks, Jim was not. Then he told me that if I still wanted to, I could attend the class by myself. By that time I was already at peace with my decision, thinking it had been confirmed and blessed by God with the 200 game I had bowled. And so I told him we’d wait for the next class.
Even though the opportunity didn’t work out, I had learned so much through the decision process, that I wondered if I had grown more than if I had taken the class. Again, I had been caught trying to get something through my own means, instead of going to God with it. When I finally did, not only did God speak to me directly, but by Him telling me to be that person of great faith, must have meant He thought that I could be. And that thought, increased my faith greatly. Still, I didn’t feel ready for the idea of being a leader, more on that to come.
To be continued . . . see Promiseville
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