While the powerful lessons from Image Avenue continued to sink in and caring for my mother grew more challenging, I explored a little farther into Graceville hoping to find a fun escape. Over on Candy Lane, I discovered a computer game I liked to play and escaped there often. After noticing a spiritual principle while playing the game, it became even more interesting when it began to play out in my life. Unexpected twists and turns led me to a place I’d at other times elected to pass up and would have this time if not for the compelling purpose I was given for the hard lesson I was led there to learn.
Whenever I had a few extra minutes, I enjoyed playing Candy Crush Saga on my computer. The game was challenging and at times frustrating as I tried different strategies to get to the next level. Even with great strategies most games ended in frustration without entry to the next level. Then while playing one particular game level, I noticed that while I concentrated on the moves I could make at the bottom, explosions and bombs were going off at the top that I had no thought or involvement in. Suddenly I’d be at the next level with moves to spare saying, “Wow! How did that happen?!” Stunned at how easily it all happened is when it occurred to me–that’s how it’s suppose to work with God. When I do what I can do at the bottom, God does His thing at the top and amazing things happen effortlessly without stress or frustration. As amazing as it was that a spiritual lesson would show up in a computer game, the lesson continued into my real life.
Though it had been long planned that a friend from Bible Study would pick me up and we’d ride together to the Children’s Teachers Christmas brunch and gift exchange, in my mind it was on Saturday, not Friday. Normally I wouldn’t have answered the door in my nightgown, but that morning for some reason I thought it may have been my next door neighbor needing something. As I stood with my hair uncombed, wearing a sweatshirt over my flannel nightgown and fuzzy slippers, my friend was smiling and asking if I was ready. It was so embarrassing! Wanting the whole thing to just go away, I told her to go on to the party and I’d meet her there, but she insisted on waiting while I got dressed. My gift was wrapped and ready, but the dish I planned to take to the brunch was not yet prepared. “There’s always plenty of food,” she answered. Unable to talk her out of it, I invited her in and introduced her to my mother who was sitting at the dining room table eating her breakfast. While they chatted, I quickly went to get dressed.
To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have gone to the brunch if my friend hadn’t insisted on waiting. Showing up late without any food would have added to the embarrassment I was already feeling. As it turned out, I was glad I had swallowed my pride and went. Not only did I have a good time, something happened that would make time for myself more possible. During dessert, the woman who takes care of the babies at Bible study came up to me and said, “If you ever want some time away from your mom, I’d be happy to stay with her.” I was so surprised that an offer like that would come so unexpectedly. This was a woman I knew I could trust with my mom. A kind, loving woman, I felt confident my mom would like. And to think if I hadn’t gone to the brunch I would have missed out on such an amazing offer. I couldn’t help but think it was the Candy Crush lesson showing up in my real life, but there was more to learn.
Things got even harder after coming home from my morning walk and finding my mother on the floor screaming in pain with a fractured hip. After a few days in the hospital and three weeks in a physical rehabilitation facility, she returned home needing help with things I really didn’t like having to do. And the things I liked doing were even more difficult to fit in. That’s when I began to suspect the lesson in caring for my mom was on humility. I was being humbled. I admitted to myself and to God that I didn’t like doing some of the things I was having to do for my mother. And although I was trusting God and believing fun jobs were still to come, it was hard. At times I wanted to quit but continued on believing it was what God wanted me to do at that time, even though everything in me wanted to fight against it.
Then one morning in the shower, while talking to God about my mom, I was given a purpose for the hard lesson on humility. Complaining, I said to the Lord, “She relies on me for just about everything, even things she can do for herself. It’s like I’m her god.” When I felt the Lord say, “You are,” I said “But I’m not a good God like You are. I don’t love unconditionally like You do.” “Exactly,” said the Lord. It made me sad to think how much she’s missing by denying God. Knowing God loves me has helped me so much, and now I’m starting to feel his power in my life. So I asked, “Lord, how can I help my mom know You?” That’s when He said something that really got to me. “Through you,” He said.
Candy Lane turned out to be quite different than the fun escape I was expecting. Realizing the things I was strategizing to do, weren’t nearly as important as the things I fought hard not to do, caused a humbling effect on me. Finding out that my mother was experiencing God’s love through what I was doing for her had brought me to a new level in my journey. The lessons on humility, put on such a personal level, helped me to better understand it’s purpose. It’s not about thinking less of myself and more of someone else like I once thought. It’s about admitting that I don’t know everything that God knows that allows God to do what I’m unable to do. And what God wants is for everyone to know how much He loves them. It may have taken me a long time to get there but humility turned out not to be as bad as I once thought. If by humbling myself God can multiply my efforts and from it, amazing things happen that I have no thought or involvement in–that’s fun!
To be continued . . . see Drum Street
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