While helping with the check-in desk at my cousin’s church conference, I noticed a man sitting in the corner watching me. When the line caught up, and he made no move toward me, curiously I said to him “Can I help you?” His reply was even more curious: “The Lord has something I’m supposed to say to you, but I don’t know what it is.” What?! I said, “Are you sure it’s for me?” Not only was he sure, he further explained that every time he tried to get up and leave the Lord had him stay. At that point, we were both fascinated as to what the Lord was up to. Hoping the message would come to him we chatted a little. I found out he was the pastor of the motorcycle ministry serving as security for the conference, which calmed my suspicions. About that time word came from inside the meeting for us to quiet down, and so our conversation came to an end.
Later that day I had the chance to talk with the man again. The message still hadn’t come to him, but he was interesting, and I felt there was much to learn from him. As I listened, he began talking about the man in the Bible with many demons called Legion. I knew the story well since it’s where I get my purpose for writing my journey, but I’d never heard what happened to the pigs described in that way before. When he said, “Those pigs couldn’t stand the demons for even a few minutes, and they went and killed themselves” I just knew it was what the Lord wanted him to tell me. Although planning suicide was where my own journey with God had begun, I hadn’t ever connected suicide in that story before, but suddenly there it was.
When I got home, I took a closer look at the story. Other times my focus had been on Jesus telling Legion to go back and tell his friends what God had done for him, which is my purpose verse. This time I noticed the different people that were in the crowd that asked Jesus to leave, the ones Legion was sent back to talk to. Some were the herdsmen who had witnessed their herd run over the cliff after Jesus cast the demons from Legion and they entered the pigs. Many had heard what happened as the witnesses fled to the nearby towns. And many more had heard from those who had heard it from the witnesses as the news quickly spread. When they all rushed out to see for themselves, they found Legion clothed and in his right mind sitting with Jesus. The Bible says they were frightened and asked Jesus to leave. Legion wanted to go with Jesus at that point, but that’s when Jesus told him to go back and tell his friends what God had done for him.
After getting a better look at the people Legion was sent to talk to, I was a little frightened too and questioned the Lord regarding my purpose. “Lord, you want me to talk to people who are mad at You?” His answer to me was, “Keep reading.” Then I saw the very last line at the end of the story that read, “and the people marveled.” How fun, I thought, I could handle that! A few months later the Lord revealed something from my childhood that would give me a more personal view of the story.
Soon after my book “A Different Way” was published I was invited to share my testimony and talk about my book in front of a Sunday school class at our church. While practicing what I had prepared, I started with: “I wasn’t raised knowing God. God was never spoken of in our home.” I felt the Lord interrupt me and say, “That’s not true.” What? I said, “Lord, how can that not be true? When were You ever spoken of in our home?” He answered, “Through the swear words.” Stunned, not knowing what to think, I kept the revelation to myself for a long time.
Thinking back to my childhood, I remembered times of loud swearing which included the words, God and Jesus. I just hadn’t considered that I was learning about God in that way. I wouldn’t think it counted, but apparently, it did. I couldn’t help but think hearing those words in anger, even though at the time I didn’t know what they meant, may have kept me from knowing the love of God sooner in my life. I also wondered how many others had learned about God that way. It could be significant, and important to share with others but at the time I wasn’t comfortable revealing it about myself. Yet, it stayed on my mind.
My mind kept going back to Legion, and to the people who blamed Jesus for the loss of their pigs. I wondered if I’d been raised by someone who had held something against God. It would explain a few things. Another part of the story I’d usually overlooked (because I didn’t understand it) was beginning to make sense. Included at the end of Mark 5:19 where Jesus tells Legion to go back and tell his friends what God had done for him is the phrase, “and how He has had compassion on you.” It was the compassion Jesus had for Legion and his living conditions that moved Jesus to cast the demons from him despite the risk to the pigs. I also began to see the compassion Jesus had for the townspeople even though they asked Him to leave. I saw it as His purpose for sending Legion back to talk to them–so they could also come to understand the compassion God had for them.
It finally occurred to me that I could have been all of the people on Legion Hill at one time or another. I had first heard about Jesus through angry, fearful words. And I may not have directly asked Jesus to leave, but there were times I’d passed on opportunities to learn about Him. Though it came later in my life, I’m grateful for encountering Jesus, to have my demons and doubts driven out through the lessons along this journey. I can relate to wanting to be with Jesus and yet hear the call to go back and tell my friends what God has done for me. So glad, unlike Legion, I can have Jesus with me as I do. And for sure, I’m one who marvels. Now that I’ve learned compassion was God’s purpose for sending Legion back to tell his story, my purpose has become more clear. By telling what God has done for me, I’m extending His compassion to others.
To be continued . . . see Vision Drive
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