I’m no longer feeling satisfied with having God help me in my ordinary life. I’m feeling like I want to live the life of Christ that’s now in me. I want faith to do the things Jesus did. I want to see the sick healed, blind eyes opened, and yes, even the dead raised. I believe Jesus still does those things. And I’m so curious to know what the “even greater things” are that He told the disciples they would do. I can’t see how it will come about, but I know they are the desires of my heart.
On a Christian television program, I watched as a woman described a vision she had of the Glory of God coming like a Tsunami. In her mind, she saw people going into hospitals laying hands on the sick and them getting up and going home that day. She saw a healing revival break out in hospitals, schools, churches, and at Wal-Mart. She believed there would come a time when you will hear “Healing line on aisle nine” announced over the loudspeaker. When she said that, I had a little vision of my own. I pictured myself at Wal-Mart, helping a man in a wheelchair who asked me to reach something for him on the top shelf. When I handed it to him, I asked him if I could pray for his healing. “Sure,” he said. A lady who overheard me praying also wanted me to pray for her. So I did. Then I heard it announced over the loudspeaker “Healing line on aisle nine.” When I looked up, there was a long line of people waiting for me to pray for them. Wow, could that really happen, I wondered. I didn’t know, but I was excited and curious.
At my next breakfast meeting with my Bible teacher friend, I shared the vision with her. She told me she believed in divine healing and even shared a couple of times she had been healed. Then she advised me to examine my motives for wanting to see people healed. It seemed obvious to me, but she explained that she had known some, and the Bible tells of those who acted from their egos wanting prestige, the praise of men and money.
It was a good question, so I did as my friend advised and asked myself, “Why do I want to heal people?” Besides helping people be healed and free from tortuous disease, the thought of the power of God coming through me was exciting. Could that be from my ego? The more I thought about it, I felt like I’d already learned that lesson. In the past, I had thought success would make me feel good about myself, but when I failed, it only made me feel worse. It’s been a journey, but learning how God thinks of me has made me feel good about myself in a real and lasting way. There’s nothing that compares to knowing God loves me and is for me. Now when I fail, I know it doesn’t change that I’m a child of God. It just makes me want to learn how to do better next time and who better to learn from than God my Father. My motives now are to know God better and to learn how to accept everything He’s given me to become who He’s created me to be.
When I look around, I see so many sick people. While at a pharmacy waiting for a prescription to be filled, I noticed the entire back wall was shelves full of bags ready to be picked up. And that’s only one pharmacy. How many pharmacies are there in my city, state, country with walls like that one? That’s a lot of sick people, I thought to myself, people that Jesus has already healed by His death on the cross.
Looking back over my journey, I felt I’d been led to want to help others receive what Jesus has provided for them, but trying to explain it to my friend got really confusing. So to keep it all straight in my own mind, I drew a flow chart and then emailed it to her. (See chart above.)
My friend wrote back and said my chart made sense and that longing to serve Christ is the best motivation possible. She said she had known some who wanted to be seen or noticed, but that was not my motivation. She just wanted to make sure that I knew it. She also said there were very few healing ministers, which I had already noticed and wondered why. Very few seem even interested in God’s healing these days. I had bought a Bible study on divine healing that included a video and study guide. I thought it would be fun to do a small group study and invite friends to learn together with Jim and I. So I posted short descriptions of what we would be studying each week on Facebook and invited all interested in joining us. But no one came. So Jim and I enjoyed the refreshments, watched the video, and asked each other the study questions. I was disappointed that no one showed up but kept posting the weekly study descriptions hoping someone would come. Jim and I committed to finishing the study, group style, even though we were the only ones.
Then one morning, I had a revelation about a vision I shared way back in the Opportunityville blog. I was thinking that most of my other blogs were about me putting something or someone above God. Opportunityville had that too, that I had put bowling above God. But I started thinking about the person of great faith that I had placed between God and me. That was new, I didn’t remember ever putting anything in between God and me. Wondering what that was all about, I thought about the vision I described in the blog; about my left foot stepping into the person of great faith, and my right foot stepping into the leadership position. At the time, I thought by doing so, I would become that person, and it would bring me closer to God. But as I continued thinking that’s when the revelation came. I thought about how Jesus is the only person between God and me. And so that person of great faith–would be Jesus! The vision was me stepping into Christ, the author, and finisher of my faith! And He is also my leader! Wow, what a vision!
Vision Drive gave me a lot to think about. I was excited about the amazing possibilities, and at the same time, struggled with thoughts of the kind of life I may be headed toward. With so much still to be learned about the healing Jesus provided on the cross and how to receive it, I have a feeling by the time I’ve learned and accepted who I am in Christ and have stepped into Him, I’ll be ready for whatever comes with it.
To be continued . . . see Trust-Trail
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