Message Balls Blog

My journey from Uncommon Path had brought me to what I would describe as an in-between place, a corridor perhaps. God had shown me I wouldn’t have been so easily swayed by others if it weren’t for my fear and doubt. Thinking if I had enough strength, I’d be able to stay on my path no matter what others said. But God, in His extraordinary wisdom, showed me how He can go about revealing and removing a cause of my fear and doubt.

Neck pain had caused me to quit just about everything in my life. The only thing I didn’t quit was Bible study. If I could have, I certainly would have. But I’d become the Audio/Visual Tech Leader after the two I’d worked with moved away, and I felt I had to stay and teach the two new ladies all I knew. Plus, I felt there may be another reason God had for keeping me there, and I was curious to know what it was.

With my neck finally holding in position, I was feeling better. So much so that I was starting to return to some of my regular activities. Since becoming Tech Leader, I hadn’t attended the Wednesday Leaders meetings. I’d been saving all my energy for the regular Friday Bible study where I was needed to lead my tech team. Now that I was better, I wanted to learn leadership skills to lead more successfully. I would never have thought a lesson on “edification” was what I really needed. I didn’t even know what the word meant at the time. But as it turned out, it was God’s lesson for me.

I couldn’t believe the compliments I was getting on how well I was leading my tech team. Week after week, the leaders prayed and praised God for me. I kept telling them it wasn’t me; it was the two amazing women assigned to help me, but they kept insisting it was my doing. I tried to accept it and be thankful, but inside, I thought, “That’s crazy! I’ve only been trying to teach them everything I know as fast as possible so they can carry on without me if it comes to that!” Like a flood, the compliments continued, verbally and in handwritten cards and notes. I’d never gotten so many compliments. Yet, I wasn’t feeling worthy of any. I sloughed them off, thinking they didn’t really know me. Then one morning, the Lord showed me what it was all about.

It was a difficult morning at Bible study when a particular event moved us to another part of the church from where we usually met. The equipment in that room was a little different. And though we’d met there before, it had been a while. Not only did I need to familiarize myself with the equipment there, but I also had to quickly train my team. Working together, we found and set up the microphones and were able to get all of the screens working. The one thing we couldn’t figure out was how to record. We always provided an audio file of the opening speaker and the teaching for those who couldn’t attend. While my leader tried contacting a tech from the church to help us, my team continued trying everything we could think of. It was stressful, but in those moments when I felt like giving up, something remarkable happened. All those positive words and prayers the leaders spoke about me started running through my mind, encouraging me and reminding me of how much they believed in my ability. I couldn’t let them down. So, I kept going, and so did my team. We never did figure out how to record through the soundboard, but we were able to record on one of our phones which worked out well.

The following week when the word “edification” appeared in our Bible lesson, I was curious about its meaning and looked it up in the dictionary. After reading the definition, I knew it was what I’d been experiencing! I was excited and wanted to share what I’d learned with the leaders who helped bring it about. And there happened to be a perfect question in our lesson for me to share what the Lord had taught me about edification. So, when that question came up at the following Leaders’ meeting, I put my hand up to answer. I shared how on Friday, when things got difficult, all of their prayers and compliments started running through my mind, encouraging and keeping me going. I told them I’d had trouble accepting their edifying words about me because they didn’t align with what I’d heard from my childhood. I began to cry as I told them that God was building me up and strengthening me to do things I didn’t know how to do. As I continued through my tears, I could feel the woman beside me rubbing my back in gentle little circles. As comforting as it was, I later learned there was more to it.

Later, I talked to one of the leaders, telling her that the one next to me was rubbing my back as I shared my story. She then said something that totally hadn’t occurred to me. She said, “That was God washing all those negative words spoken over you as a child from your heart!” I was so amazed! Was that from God, I wondered. Did God arrange for that woman to sit next to me and then rub my back? And then to give me the meaning of it through this other woman? Did He do all of that for me? I was curious to know for sure. So, I asked her if what she said was given to her by the Holy Spirit, and she said yes. When I asked the woman who had rubbed my back the same question, she said she had felt guided by the Spirit. It was another emotional time when I shared at the next Leaders’ meeting what the Lord had done for me right before our eyes and how they all had been a part of it.

My lesson in Edification Corridor wasn’t a new lesson. Throughout my journey, I’d had trouble accepting complimentary words spoken about me. In various ways, God has shown me how He sees me and reminded me that’s how He wants me to see myself. But I always seemed to go back to my old thinking. This time, I was given further understanding. I saw a clear difference in what I was able to do as a result of having positive thoughts about myself. Plus, I witnessed God’s incredible leadership skills in action. I saw firsthand how He goes about leading others to accomplish His healing work in us. I couldn’t have had a better leader to teach me leadership skills! Thank you, Lord!

To be continued . . . see Reflection-Creek

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This entry was posted on Sunday, August 7th, 2022 at 6:55 pm and is filed under The road to the greater life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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