Message Balls Blog

I couldn’t believe my eyes while watching the virtual Bible study class recording and saw that the music video wouldn’t play. Debra, the worship leader, ended up singing the song live a cappella! It was beautiful but wasn’t how it was supposed to go. I didn’t want to think the Lord had let me down, although it looked that way until He showed me a different way to look at it. I was also given another way of looking at myself.

My tech team did so well during our practice sessions that I was confident they would do well running the virtual class while I was away at the Sentencing of the drunk driver who killed my brother. When I asked them why the music video didn’t play, they didn’t know, only that they both had the same technical issue. Whatever it was corrected itself about two-thirds of the way through Debra’s song when the video abruptly started. The weird thing is that the video with the three singing took over at the same place Debra was singing. It was so incredible! When I asked my tech team how they managed that, they said, “It just happened!” I couldn’t help wondering what the odds of that would be. It had to be God, I thought. But if God was there, why didn’t He step in sooner? Why didn’t He see that the video played as it should have? I didn’t get it. Did I not hear Him correctly while deciding to go to the Sentencing that, if I’d go, He would do the rest? The answers to those questions came almost a year later.

In the meantime, I tried not to let what happened affect my trust in God, but I figured it had when I had trouble singing a particular song at church. During the part of the song, “You’re never gonna, never gonna, never gonna let me down,” I would either start crying or stop singing. I didn’t want to, but it was evident that I was holding what happened with the video against the Lord. So I told the Lord, “I don’t think you let me down; it only looks that way for some reason.” I was shown a different way of looking at it the following year at Bible study when we were again meeting in person.

The discussion in my study group was so interesting that I lost track of time and had to hurry back to the sound booth to start the worship team. On the way, I worried that Debra and her team would start without me. But when I arrived, it was just Debra; the others weren’t back from their groups yet. Relieved, I confessed to Debra that I was afraid they would start without me. She looked at me and said, “And we would.” I thought it was so funny! I laughed, thinking, how could they start without me? They needed me to turn on the mics and give the signal. After I’d laughed and shared the story with others, including the Teaching Director, I started thinking more about it. I thought about how amazing Debra is; she knows her purpose and will do it no matter what. I thought about how I knew she’d start without me because she’d done it before–when the videos wouldn’t play while I was at the Sentencing.

As I remembered and prayerfully thought about what had happened, I suddenly saw that God hadn’t let me down. He just had a different plan. When the video wouldn’t play, and Debra had to sing, I saw it as a failure. When the video started playing in the same spot where Debra was, I thought it was no coincidence. It was God showing me He was there. Back then, I couldn’t understand why God didn’t do something. Now I see that He did! He had Debra sing! He knew she would, and He had her ready! It was so amazing that I shared with our Teaching Director how God had used the funny story about Debra starting without me to help me understand and heal what happened while I was at the Sentencing. When I told her I didn’t know why it had taken almost a year, she said it probably took me that long to be ready to receive it. I knew I finally had when the following Sunday at church, I had no problem singing, “You’re never gonna let me down!” Later on, the Lord showed me another way to view something else that took me a long time to receive.

Jim and I had hired a contractor to extend the top of the block wall in our backyard to keep our dog from jumping to see the neighbor’s dog. We hoped they wouldn’t bark as much if they couldn’t see each other. After Roger had a few blocks on the wall, he asked me to come take a look. The grout lines seemed rough and uneven, and I told him I thought it would look more like he said when we hired him. He said it would, but I wasn’t so sure at that point. Our conversation got a little heated, so I decided it was a good time to go for my walk.

While on my walk, I was talking it over with the Lord. I said, “Lord, it’s like Roger doesn’t see what I see. It looks messy, but he keeps saying how clean it is. It’s like we are seeing two different things.” Then the Lord said, “You are.” “What? How can that be?” I said. Then He explained that Roger knows his work and sees how it will look when it’s finished. Like how I see you, He said. I see you as my finished work, but you see yourself as a work in progress. Suddenly, I understood, and it all made sense how Roger and I saw two different walls! Roger saw it finished, nice and clean, but I was seeing it in progress. My chat with the Lord helped me trust Roger’s work, and I knew it would all turn out well. It also told me I needed to start seeing myself as God sees me–as His finished work.

After working it all out in my mind, I felt terrible that I’d given Roger a hard time. He wanted to smooth things out between us when I returned from my walk, so without thinking, I quickly said, “That’s okay. The Lord spoke to me, and I know it will turn out well.” After saying it, I was afraid Roger might think I was crazy, but I was so surprised when he excitedly said, “Really? What did He say?” So I told him the whole story. He was grateful that I told him and believed it was a word from the Lord, which confirmed it for me, too. The wall did turn out well, and though it hasn’t stopped the dogs from barking at each other, it’s been a constant reminder that God sees me as His finished work.

My journey to The Greater Life has turned out differently than I initially thought. I thought it would be about doing miracles like Jesus did and even greater, like He told the disciples they would do. Instead, it’s mainly been about changing my view of myself to match how God sees me. After thinking more about what God said to me about being His finished work, I realized having the Holy Spirit, the Greater One, in me, enabling me to do great things, is His finished work. I don’t know why it took so long, but I now see that’s The Greater Life! Thank you, Lord; I’m excited to see what we will do!

To be continued . . .

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This entry was posted on Saturday, August 26th, 2023 at 8:41 pm and is filed under The road to the greater life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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