Three weeks after my friend died, I was given another opportunity to pray and raise someone from the dead. A deputy called and told me that my brother, Tom, had been killed by a drunk driver and that she was in custody. It seemed unreal, so close to hearing about Barbara and now Tom. After a few hours in shock, my faith again rose up. I prayed out loud in the name of Jesus for Tom to get up, to live, and not die. Then I waited to hear. It was winter on the mountain where Tom had made his life, and his friends there had decided to wait until Spring to hold a memorial service. God used the time in between to show me a little more of how to bring heaven to earth and how courage works with faith.
I had no doubt that Barbara was in heaven, but I wasn’t as sure about Tom. I knew he believed in God from the one time he told me that God has always existed. Still, I didn’t know what he understood about Jesus and if he’d accepted Him. So, I asked God if Tom had made it to heaven. The answer came while talking with our cousin, pastor Linda. I told her about all the time I had spent with Tom getting our parent’s house ready for sale. How he allowed me to lay hands on his various pains and pray for his healing and that he believed it would help him. Then Linda told me about what Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 10:40, “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.” That was my answer! Tommy was in heaven!
Feeling the power of my friends’ prayers, I continued with my commitments at Bible study. I thought I was doing good until I realized I hadn’t set up a mic stand for one of the worship singers. It was eerie to see that I wasn’t functioning as well as I thought. While talking with the worship leader, I told her that I didn’t have any anger or resentment toward the drunk driver. Then she said something I never saw coming. She said she saw the woman reading my book. Wow, I thought, I don’t know if I’m that far along. My leader in the sound booth also told me something I didn’t think I was quite ready for. She told me about a California law that gives the victim’s family the right to speak at the sentencing. The thought of standing up in court and sharing my feelings made me nervous, but it was almost like the Lord was preparing me for it. So, I decided to pray for the words that He would have me say.
The words for the Victim Impact Statement turned out to be pretty much what I was feeling and settled a question that had bothered me. I wondered how I could forgive the woman and yet want her prosecuted for what she’d done. The statement briefly said, “I have a conflict of interest in this case and should probably recuse myself. As a Christian, I am commanded to forgive you. And I have. Under God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, all have been forgiven, so who am I not to forgive. But at the same time, your reckless actions are responsible for my brother’s violent death. And so, while I hold no malice toward you, I will in no way interfere with these legal proceedings and will let justice take its course. I’ll continue to pray for you to come to the knowledge and forgiveness that Jesus offers you and that your life may come of good to others. Thank you for this opportunity to speak.”
My leader thought my statement was very good. I did too, which gave me the confidence I thought I’d need to say it in court. Still, as the trial date kept getting postponed for various reasons, I began to lose courage. Although I understood the role of forgiveness, I didn’t think it would go down easily for those around me who were still angry and bitter. Learning to forgive has been a large part of my journey. In my book, A Different Way, two chapters were dedicated to forgiving and the life-changing benefits I experienced from it. Since then, I’ve come to believe forgiveness is God’s plan for bringing heaven to earth and that it’s all laid out in the Lord’s prayer.
So many of Tom’s friends showed up to the memorial service. I enjoyed hearing about their special times with Tom and those who spoke of how he had helped them. I wasn’t sure if they’d be interested in knowing that Tom made it to heaven, but it was what I wanted to share if I were to muster up the courage. While sitting with my other two brothers, one started talking about when Tom was home helping clean out our parents’ house, and I just knew it was my cue from the Lord. Nervously, I stepped up to the microphone, said that I was Tom’s sister and wanted to share a story. It was tough to back out at that point, so I started telling them that Tom and I spent a lot of time together, getting our family home ready for sale. I shared that I’d discovered God later in life and had come to be interested in the healing Jesus provided for us. I told of the various pains Tom would come with, and when I’d ask if I could lay hands on him and pray, he always said yes. They laughed when I told of the time he had a toothache, and his cheek was all swelled up, and when I asked if I could pray for him, he said, “Yeah, but don’t touch it!” Then I told them I’d asked God if he made it to heaven and how the answer had come. I ended with, “If it matters to you, I wanted to share that Tom is in heaven.” When I finished, a couple came and hugged me, thanked me for sharing, and said they were glad to know that Tom’s in heaven.
I was glad to have had the courage to share my story and learn more about Tom from his friends. He’d moved away from our family home so long ago and lived a different life than we were raised. I was glad to know he was happy in the mountain life he had found. As I write this, it’s been almost three years since the awful crash. The woman is still in jail awaiting her trial, and I’ve had plenty of time to grow into the impact statement the Lord gave me. I learned that I can trust courage to be there when I take a step towards it. Just like when I stepped up to share my faith at the memorial service and courage came, I can trust it will be there when it’s time to stand up in court and share the Victim’s Impact Statement. And maybe I’ll also have the courage to give the woman my book to fulfill my worship friend’s vision.
To be continued . . . see Mock Byway
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