I’m no longer feeling satisfied with having God help me in my ordinary life. I’m feeling like I want to live the life of Christ that’s now in me. I want faith to do the things Jesus did. I want to see the sick healed, blind eyes opened, and yes, even the dead raised. I believe Jesus still does those things. And I’m so curious to know what the “even greater things” are that He told the disciples they would do. I can’t see how it will come about, but I know they are the desires of my heart.
On a Christian television program, I watched as a woman described a vision she had of the Glory of God coming like a Tsunami. In her mind, she saw people going into hospitals laying hands on the sick and them getting up and going home that day. She saw a healing revival break out in hospitals, schools, churches, and at Wal-Mart. She believed there would come a time when you will hear “Healing line on aisle nine” announced over the loudspeaker. When she said that, I had a little vision of my own. I pictured myself at Wal-Mart, helping a man in a wheelchair who asked me to reach something for him on the top shelf. When I handed it to him, I asked him if I could pray for his healing. “Sure,” he said. A lady who overheard me praying also wanted me to pray for her. So I did. Then I heard it announced over the loudspeaker “Healing line on aisle nine.” When I looked up, there was a long line of people waiting for me to pray for them. Wow, could that really happen, I wondered. I didn’t know, but I was excited and curious.
At my next breakfast meeting with my Bible teacher friend, I shared the vision with her. She told me she believed in divine healing and even shared a couple of times she had been healed. Then she advised me to examine my motives for wanting to see people healed. It seemed obvious to me, but she explained that she had known some, and the Bible tells of those who acted from their egos wanting prestige, the praise of men and money.
It was a good question, so I did as my friend advised and asked myself, “Why do I want to heal people?” Besides helping people be healed and free from tortuous disease, the thought of the power of God coming through me was exciting. Could that be from my ego? The more I thought about it, I felt like I’d already learned that lesson. In the past, I had thought success would make me feel good about myself, but when I failed, it only made me feel worse. It’s been a journey, but learning how God thinks of me has made me feel good about myself in a real and lasting way. There’s nothing that compares to knowing God loves me and is for me. Now when I fail, I know it doesn’t change that I’m a child of God. It just makes me want to learn how to do better next time and who better to learn from than God my Father. My motives now are to know God better and to learn how to accept everything He’s given me to become who He’s created me to be.
When I look around, I see so many sick people. While at a pharmacy waiting for a prescription to be filled, I noticed the entire back wall was shelves full of bags ready to be picked up. And that’s only one pharmacy. How many pharmacies are there in my city, state, country with walls like that one? That’s a lot of sick people, I thought to myself, people that Jesus has already healed by His death on the cross.
Looking back over my journey, I felt I’d been led to want to help others receive what Jesus has provided for them, but trying to explain it to my friend got really confusing. So to keep it all straight in my own mind, I drew a flow chart and then emailed it to her. (See chart above.)
My friend wrote back and said my chart made sense and that longing to serve Christ is the best motivation possible. She said she had known some who wanted to be seen or noticed, but that was not my motivation. She just wanted to make sure that I knew it. She also said there were very few healing ministers, which I had already noticed and wondered why. Very few seem even interested in God’s healing these days. I had bought a Bible study on divine healing that included a video and study guide. I thought it would be fun to do a small group study and invite friends to learn together with Jim and I. So I posted short descriptions of what we would be studying each week on Facebook and invited all interested in joining us. But no one came. So Jim and I enjoyed the refreshments, watched the video, and asked each other the study questions. I was disappointed that no one showed up but kept posting the weekly study descriptions hoping someone would come. Jim and I committed to finishing the study, group style, even though we were the only ones.
Then one morning, I had a revelation about a vision I shared way back in the Opportunityville blog. I was thinking that most of my other blogs were about me putting something or someone above God. Opportunityville had that too, that I had put bowling above God. But I started thinking about the person of great faith that I had placed between God and me. That was new, I didn’t remember ever putting anything in between God and me. Wondering what that was all about, I thought about the vision I described in the blog; about my left foot stepping into the person of great faith, and my right foot stepping into the leadership position. At the time, I thought by doing so, I would become that person, and it would bring me closer to God. But as I continued thinking that’s when the revelation came. I thought about how Jesus is the only person between God and me. And so that person of great faith–would be Jesus! The vision was me stepping into Christ, the author, and finisher of my faith! And He is also my leader! Wow, what a vision!
Vision Drive gave me a lot to think about. I was excited about the amazing possibilities, and at the same time, struggled with thoughts of the kind of life I may be headed toward. With so much still to be learned about the healing Jesus provided on the cross and how to receive it, I have a feeling by the time I’ve learned and accepted who I am in Christ and have stepped into Him, I’ll be ready for whatever comes with it.
To be continued . . . see Trust-Trail
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My desire to see God’s power come through me to heal others in my life greatly intensified when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Fear could have easily derailed my pursuit for God’s healing as we waded through complicated medical information so focused on what all the numbers meant in terms of treatment and life expectancy. But in those moments of fear, I recognized we weren’t trusting God. Trust Trail took us through some rough territory but would eventually bring us to a new level of faith, together.
One Sunday, a pastor at our church overheard Jim telling a friend about his diagnosis. The pastor later shared with us that he was a few months ahead on the same journey. He then invited us to his home where he and his wife shared what they had been through and what we might expect. Talking with them made us feel that we weren’t so alone. Each week at church, the pastor checked on our progress and answered any questions we were having. And when it came time for Jim’s surgery, he organized a prayer session with the other pastors. After briefly sharing our need, they formed a circle around us, laid hands on us, and prayed. I can’t tell you how much that meant to us.
Something the pastor and his wife emphasized during the time we spent talking with them stuck with me and changed my thinking. They stressed that the two of us were on a journey, together, not just Jim. That thought had me going with Jim to all of his doctor appointments, listening to image scan results, and discussing treatment options. It got even scarier when a spot showed up on one of the images taken to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread. The report stated it was “likely cancer” but to be sure a biopsy was ordered.
Since we were on this journey together, I started involving Jim more in what I was learning about God’s promises for healing. We started reading scripture out loud to each other. We also began watching healing sermons and testimonies regularly on TV and online together. When we discovered one of the pastors we watched on TV also held a Sunday evening healing school service at his church not far from where we live we decided to check it out. It turned out to be much like a regular church service; only the teaching focused on healing scriptures to build faith for healing. After that, anytime a pastor we watched on TV came to a town near us, we went to see them, learned what they had to teach us, and Jim never missed an opportunity for prayer.
We ventured out and gained greater exposure to the knowledge of God’s healing power when my cousin who pastors a small congregation in the Los Angeles area invited us along on her speaking and healing prayer weekend at a private home a few hours away in northern California. A doctor who had been recently healed of stage 4 liver cancer was inviting friends and family for prayer, hoping for her same outcome. My cousin planned to give my book as gifts and have me there to sign them, and it would also be another opportunity for Jim to receive prayer as well. It was an extraordinary experience for us not only to see healing taught and ministered in that type of intimate setting but also for me as a new author. The people were all so friendly, and it was fun getting to know them as I signed their books. But most of all, I was hoping to see a miracle!
The biopsy turned out negative, thank God! And the doctors were confident the cancer had not spread. But with all the prayer, we were expecting the cancer to be all gone. I was surprised, yet so proud of Jim when he boldly asked his doctor to rerun the blood test to see if anything had changed. Though, hesitant at first, his doctor went along with Jim’s wishes and reran the test. When the results hadn’t changed any, surgery was then scheduled.
The surgery was a success! We were told the cancer had been contained in the now-removed organ, leaving no signs it had traveled outside of it. We went home relieved and grateful. However, the results of Jim’s 3-month post-op blood test showed cancer had aggressively returned. So again, we were back to image scans and consultants. This time cancer was found in a part of the body that could quickly spread throughout the system.
While Jim’s doctors were determining a course of treatment or if treatment was even an option, my cousin wanted me to do a book signing at her church. Scheduled for that particular Sunday was a guest healing pastor giving Jim another opportunity to receive prayer. After the teaching, Jim got in the prayer line, and I went to the foyer to sign books for those leaving. When Jim’s turn for prayer came, the minister asked him to get his wife so he could pray for us both. His prayer turned out to be prophetic. He first talked to Jim and told him he was joyful and had faith, adding that we would live a long life and we would do something together. He then turned to me and said I was obviously a woman of God but needed some encouragement. He took my hand and put his other hand on my head and said the Lord was healing the right side of my brain. He also said there was more for me to learn and that God would teach me. He said I would step into a new level of faith and leadership and would teach and testify. As much as the prophetic prayer boosted our faith for a future together, it wasn’t long before I needed another dose of encouragement.
There was a lot on my mind as we sat in an examining room waiting for the radiation oncologist to come in and tell us whether or not he would be able to help us. I wanted to be strong for Jim, but at the same time, I was afraid. I thought about how the Lord had been teaching me to be like a little kid, to have fun, trusting Him. Silently I asked, “Lord, how would I be a little kid in this circumstance?” Quickly He answered back, “In this circumstance, your parents would be here with you.” Suddenly I felt the presence of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit enter the little room. And before I could react, in came the doctor. He told us he had reviewed everything and was confident he was able to kill the cancer.
Trust Trail turned out to be a bumpy road. Through all the ups and downs, twists and turns, we learned that though our faith fails at times, God showed us He is faithful, and in that, we can trust.
To be continued . . . see Practice-Court
To see other posts go to messageballs.com
If I wanted to begin seeing the supernatural things of God, I needed to start putting all that I’d learned from scripture, ministers, and prayer meetings into practice in my life. I figured if Jesus spoke out what He wanted to see, that’s what I needed to do. I needed to pray for people, out loud, whenever and wherever the opportunity presented itself. So that’s what I started doing. And when I realized God was coaching me, that’s when the real learning began.
Opportunities abounded while greeting at church. I started to notice when I’d shake someone’s hand and ask, “How are you doing?” they would tell me about some pain or condition they were having. As they passed by, I’d quickly say, “Be well in Jesus’ name.” One morning a lady told me she had lost one of her hearing aids. She had already combed through her house a couple of times to no avail. She didn’t know what she was going to do, explaining it was costly to replace and she couldn’t afford it. Reaching for her hand, I said: “Let’s pray about it.” She agreed so very simply I asked God to show her where to find the hearing aid. After praying, I told her to go about her day, and most likely, it would show up in a place she wouldn’t have thought to look for it.
Later that day, the lady called me all excited. She said she found the hearing aid, and it was on a table she hadn’t thought to look on, just as I had said! She couldn’t wait to tell me about it and had searched through the church directory until she found my number. I was excited for her and motivated, even more, to pray for people whatever their need was.
Sometimes I’d get all caught up in the person’s symptoms, feeling sympathetic, and it wouldn’t occur to me to pray for them. The Lord began pointing out these missed opportunities, like the time Jim and I were at a party next door. We were talking with our neighbor’s sister and husband as they passed their two-week-old baby back and forth between them, trying to keep her from going to sleep. They said the baby slept when they were awake and was awake when they should be sleeping. “We’re so sleep-deprived,” they told us. They had been taking turns being up with the baby, but thought by keeping her awake, she might sleep through the night and hopefully change her sleep pattern. Then suddenly they both got up, handed me the baby saying “don’t let her go to sleep” as they made their way to the dance floor.
As happy as I was to give them a little break, it didn’t take long before the little one started to go to sleep. I tried shifting the baby around on my lap to wake her, but it wasn’t working. She looked so peaceful, I hated to wake her. The parents weren’t happy, though, when they came back and found her sound asleep. On our short walk home, I was feeling bad for them. Then I felt the Lord say, “Why didn’t you pray the baby would sleep through the night?” Good question! Why didn’t I? I couldn’t believe I had that baby in my arms and didn’t think to pray for her!
More and more, as I heard people tell me of their health conditions, I’d ask them if I could lay my hands on them and pray for their healing. Most said yes, and were grateful. Some said no, and I didn’t push it. I also discovered that Christians have different beliefs about what the scriptures mean. When I mentioned to a woman, “And by His stripes, we were healed (Isaiah 53:5),” she said it didn’t mean physical healing. She even laughed that I would think it did. That surprised me knowing she’d been a Christian all her life. I began to wonder if I had it wrong.
Being laughed at challenged me to strengthen my faith for healing. I asked God if it were true that we weren’t physically healed by His stripes. Had I misunderstood? I found in Matthew 8:17 that Jesus fulfilled the Isaiah 53:5 prophesy, saying, “He Himself took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” which confirmed for me that physical healing was included. But Jesus continued healing all who were sick, blind, deaf, and dead, giving me the impression that it was ongoing. Later He gave the disciples power and even commanded them to heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, and cast out demons. I couldn’t see how that could be misunderstood, but the Lord had more for me to learn.
I had a revelation while watching a healing minister on TV. She was talking about how if Jesus said to do something, then He also gives the ability to do it. She used Matthew 10:8 as proof, “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” Her point was that since they had received the power for healing, they can then give healing to others. The revelation I saw was that believers in Christ have not only received healing but are commanded to give it to others. And I didn’t need to convince anyone of it, I just needed to give to others what I have been given. It’s what the apostle Peter must have meant when he told the lame man begging at the temple gate, “Silver and gold I have not but what I have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” Peter helped him up, and immediately, his feet and ankle bones received strength. The man went leaping into the temple, praising God. It gave me hope that I would see someone healed!
I prayed for the eyes of the woman who laughed at me to be opened, as mine were. A few weeks later, she complained about pain in her knee. Courageously, I put my hand on her knee and said: “In the name of Jesus be healed.” I was so surprised when immediately she said, “I claim that!” Afterward, the Lord said to me, “Why didn’t you tell her her faith had healed her like I told people?” I thought it was the Lord’s way of letting me know I’d missed an opportunity to confirm the woman’s healing. Yet, the next time I saw her, the pain in her knee was all gone!
For a long time, I’d wanted to be in a Bible study group with those of great faith so I could learn from them. On Practice Court, I realized that I already was. I was in a group with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and who could have more faith than they! I learned how important it is to form my beliefs by studying the Bible and what God has shown me along my journey and not from what others believe. The more I learned, the more my faith grew to believe I would see miracles if I kept on praying. And so I prayed to see my friend with Multiple Sclerosis healed on this journey to the greater life.
To be continued . . . see Concept-Crossing
To see other posts go to messageballs.com
I’d often heard it said that seeing is believing. I’ve also learned in the Kingdom of God quite the opposite to be true–believe and see. Many of those beliefs I’d already switched out, but my journey on Concept Crossing revealed a couple more from my childhood. Tracing where these old beliefs were first formed and how they had shaped my life brought me to places in Graceville I hadn’t been before. It took some courage to go there, but it turned out to be fun.
Oddly, it was something my new eye doctor said that began my journey to Concept Crossing. During my first visit with him, while examining my eyes, he remarked that the vision in my left eye was significantly different than in my right eye. Yes, I told him, my left eye has been weak all my life. That’s when he said something that fascinated me. He said, “Your left eye is only weak because your brain thinks it is.”
That thought had never before entered my mind, and now it was all I could think about. Was it true, I wondered. It seemed reasonable, after all, my brain tells my body how to function, right? The concept was undoubtedly worth exploring, especially coming from a doctor. I remembered as a child, an eye doctor saying that my left eye was weak. Was that when the belief first started? I wore corrective glasses for a while, but they didn’t seem to help. My right eye was strong, which made up for the weakness in the left eye, so I just accepted that was the way I was. Now I was wondering if I’d accepted it unnecessarily. Could changing how my brain thinks about it really improve the vision in that eye?
Applying the concept to improve my vision made me wonder what else I had accepted because of what someone said about me. I thought about being told by an elementary school teacher that I couldn’t sing. I accepted it at the time, assuming some can sing, and some can’t. But could it be that I can’t sing because my brain thinks I can’t sing because of what that teacher said? It’s not surprising that a seven-year-old would believe what her teacher told her, but was it true?
Just for fun, I decided to do some investigating. I sent an email to the worship leader at Bible study asking if she was born with a nice singing voice or did she learn to sing. She quickly wrote back saying she’d been singing since she was a child but that it can certainly be learned. She included the phone number of one of the women she sings with, saying what a good voice teacher she is. I stared at that phone number and laughed. I told Jim about it, but he didn’t think it was so funny. He actually encouraged me to call her. No, no, no, I told him, taking singing lessons would be like getting naked in front of a stranger, and there’s no way I could do that!
God has a funny way of encouraging me too. I did another book signing at my cousin’s church, and there just happened to be a former Worship Pastor as guest speaker that week. After service, my cousin invited Jim and I to lunch with them and the worship pastor. During lunch, the pastor asked if we had any questions he could answer. I couldn’t help but ask the same question I asked my Bible study worship leader, “Can singing be learned, or is it a gift some are born with?” Before answering, he asked me to sing a little following along with him. Though he said, it could be learned the expression on his face after I sang told me it wasn’t for everyone. So I decided to give up the idea.
The next Sunday at our church, the sermon was on the Last Supper. My pastor went on and on, describing how Jesus undressed himself to wash the disciples’ feet. Jim nudged me and whispered in my ear, “I know what you’re thinking.” At that moment, I knew there was no denying that God wanted me to take singing lessons. So, when we got home from church, I contacted the voice teacher my worship friend had recommended.
If somehow I could still think the events that led me to surrender to singing lessons were only a string of coincidences, what happened next put that notion to rest. I couldn’t believe my ears when one of the location options to meet for my lessons was at my church! The voice teacher turned out to be the music teacher at the Christian Middle School, located at our church. That blew me away! How much more obvious can it get? The only way out of these lessons would be to say “no” to God, and that would be even harder to do. We decided to meet during her lunch hour at church–so amazing!
In preparation for my first lesson, my teacher asked for a list of songs I wanted to learn. Throughout my life, I’d been uncomfortable having to sing even simple songs like Happy Birthday, Take Me Out to the Ball Game, and Jingle Bells. Not to mention all the worship songs once I started attending church. Even not singing was uncomfortable at church, thinking others were noticing I wasn’t singing. I would intentionally come late to avoid singing. When we became greeters, being outside during worship solved all those problems. Along with the list of songs, I was asked to bring a device to record my sessions so I could play them back during the week and practice in between lessons.
Vulnerable, humbling, and weird might be some words to describe how I felt before the first lesson. Besides, I figured God must be up to something considering all He did to get me there. The lessons began with some exercises to test out my voice. To measure my range, she had me scream as loud as I could, which comes easy for me. She also said she could hear my range in my laugh, something else that comes easy. Holding my breath as long as I could wasn’t hard either since I’ve always been a relatively good swimmer. Then came the part I’d feared for so long, but the courage I needed came. She played the piano, and together we sang songs from my list, and before I knew it, our time was up. She said we could meet the next week again, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to commit to every week. So, we decided on every other week and went from there.
We went at that pace for a couple of times. I learned some worship songs I was used to hearing at church and Bible study. It was challenging, but my voice was coming along, and it was starting to be fun. And then something happened that speeded up the whole process. I’ll tell you about that next time.
To be continued . . . see Singing-Place
To see other posts go to messageballs.com
I’d followed God into taking singing lessons, but I was getting the idea there was more to it than just learning to sing. As I turned onto Singing Place, I was reminded of why I wanted to follow God. And was given a compelling purpose that motivated me to do something I never imagined I would ever do. It was an unbelievable journey, and through it, I learned what it takes to do the uncomfortable things God leads me to do–what I’ve come to refer to as scary-fun.
I started thinking I could learn to sing faster and surprise my teacher if I knew how to read music. Wrong! After watching a video on the subject, I was overwhelmed at how much there was to learn. I wanted to give up singing altogether, but my husband encouraged me to continue. Then while listening to my recorded lesson, I heard my teacher say that she wasn’t telling me a lot of technical stuff. She didn’t want me to get caught up trying to remember it all and would instead guide me. She also explained different tones come from either my throat, my chest, or my stomach, which I hadn’t understood before. Suddenly all the testing and exercising of those parts of my body made sense. So I decided to trust my teacher and let her guide me to what I’m ready to learn. After all, why would I want to learn on my own anyway when God had given me an excellent voice teacher.
More determined than ever to pay attention and do whatever my teacher told me to do, I prayed for her, and that God would guide her to what He wanted me to learn. I also bumped up my practice time between lessons. Each day I’d listen to my session recordings and do all the exercises and sing the songs. When I didn’t understand something, I’d rewind and listen again or ask about it at my next lesson. My teacher was amazed that I was grasping complex concepts and how quickly I was progressing. She kept saying I was progressing at light speed.
Seeing the difference a few lessons can make, I began getting the impression I was to encourage others who think they can’t sing. I wasn’t sure how that would come about until someone at Bible study asked me if I was going to sing at Sharing Day, which was just a few weeks away. “I’ve only had a couple of lessons, and I couldn’t be ready to sing to anyone by that time,” I told her and tried to put the scary thought out of my mind.
Then I realized I had already been singing to people. I’d been singing to the severely autistic man next door who screams and pounds on the wall so loud that I can hear him through my closed window. I thought if I can hear him, then maybe he can hear me singing. So I started opening my window when I practiced, hoping hearing words to worship songs like Amazing Love and How Great is Our God would give him peace. I started practicing on my walks and would sing to Jim and our dog, Sandy. One day at the cemetery, I sang Amazing Grace to Jim’s mom, knowing it was her favorite song. It was a special moment, and it started me thinking if I was to get up the nerve to sing at Sharing Day, the first verse of Amazing Grace might be the way to go.
To get my teacher’s thoughts on the idea, I emailed her about the impressions I was having. She replied, “Always using your gifts and stepping out in faith is a good idea.” She also suggested I come for a lesson during the week and see where my heart settles afterward. I also shared what I was contemplating with my Bible teacher friend at our breakfast meeting. She has a beautiful singing voice and a lifetime of experience. I trusted her opinion, but I didn’t think she would ask me to sing to her right there in the restaurant! I felt so naked that I covered myself with my arms and said, “no.” When she kept insisting I sing softly so only she could hear me, I finally gave in. She said I had a sweet clear voice and encouraged me to sing at Sharing Day, even wishing she could be there. I didn’t expect that! Taking another step, I asked my singing teacher if she thought I could be ready to sing the first verse of Amazing Grace by Sharing Day. She said the most amazing thing–yes! So the race was on.
I started going weekly for a lesson, focusing on the first verse of Amazing Grace. When I’d sung it correctly a few times while following my teacher and closely matching her sounds, she introduced a new concept–Muscle Memory. She had me sing it on my own, explaining that Muscle Memory would take over, and it would come out as I had practiced it. My teacher was amazed that I was singing A Capella with just a few lessons. It was so encouraging that I started working on the story I would tell before the song.
Our Bible Study that year had been on the prophet Isaiah. I connected with Isaiah when I read that God had him go around preaching in the streets–naked! I’d also been learning about the righteousness of God, trying to grasp and accept that on the cross, Jesus exchanged His righteousness for my unrighteousness. I wasn’t sure how to work that into the story until I’d gotten off-key singing for my teacher for the last time before the big day. My teacher helped fix it, but finding out that Muscle Memory can fail freaked me out. I wanted to back out of the whole thing and probably would have if it wasn’t for the message I had already prepared. Plus, I had invited my Bible teacher friend as my guest so she could see me sing. It all came into play as I walked up to the microphone in front of 190 women and began telling my story.
I began by saying I had related to Isaiah when I read that God had him preach naked and that taking singing lessons had me feeling the same way. I shared about being told by an elementary school teacher that I couldn’t sing. And how the question “Is singing a gift some are born with or can it be learned?” had led me to singing lessons. After briefly telling some of what I’d learned, I planned to sing my song. Not sure how it would turn out, I prayed out loud, “I hope the Holy Spirit comes through for me right now. But whatever happens, I know that Jesus took His clothes off so I can be clothed with His righteousness, and that can never be taken from me. Thank You, Lord.” Then I took a calming breath and out came “Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found, Was blind, but now I see.”
When I finished, everyone applauded. My teacher told me she was proud of me, and others were amazed at my courage. It was so scary it was actually fun! The best part was when a young girl from the teen class came up to me and asked, “So it can be learned?” which told me I had accomplished my purpose. And for that, I was grateful.
To be continued . . . see Precious-Way
To see other posts go to messageballs.com
Amazed at what I’d done on Singing Place, I thought for sure the Greater Life I’d searched for was just around the corner. That was until I came to Precious Way, where I discovered there was more tucked away in my brain from childhood, keeping me from the greater things to come. God had been making me aware of old beliefs, uprooting them one by one, and clearing the way for His power to work more fully in and through me. Another was revealed to me after God said something that took me a while to finally accept. Pieces from previous lessons came together to help me see why it was so hard to accept and why it was vital that I did.
One of the assignments in a series of classes Jim and I were taking at church called Rooted was to spend some quiet time in prayer and ask God if there was something He wanted to tell us. Then we were to listen carefully for His response. Excitedly, I asked, “Lord, tell me something really good!” Hoping He would tell me something that would change the world, instead, I heard, “You are precious in my eyes.” As lovely as that was to hear, I was expecting something much more important. So I asked, “Is there anything else, Lord?” but nothing else came.
Throughout my journey, God has shown His love for me. And although I was surprised to learn that God also honors me, I’d accepted it and now recognize those times more and more. But the thought that God sees me as precious was harder to accept. It just wasn’t a word I would think to describe myself. I hadn’t had a problem with the Bible verse in Isaiah, where God says, “You are precious in my eyes, honored and I love you.” because I took it to mean all of us, we are all precious in His sight. But now God had said it to me personally, which made it harder for some reason, and I didn’t know why.
After struggling with it for a while, I decided to believe it just because God said it. Jim got onboard and changed his pet name for me from Pumpkin to Precious. He’d even call me from work just to tell me I’m precious. A friend I’d also told began referring to me as Precious when we talked, all to get me used to thinking of myself as precious.
God went about it differently, though. He began showing me evidence of how precious I am to Him. He helped me resolve something I’d long wondered about. It had to do with the woman at church who shared her son’s suicide that then began my journey with God. Her fear of where her son may have ended up had caused me to rethink my plan and instead ask God to take me, which was the best decision of my life. For a long time, I struggled with why I was saved and not her son, and so many others. I wasn’t sure why I decided to finally ask, but I did. I asked, “Lord, why was my suicide plan redirected and not others?” He answered, “Because you are precious in my eyes.” Then I asked, “But isn’t everyone, why weren’t others saved like me?” He answered, “I couldn’t make it known to them.” I had to let that sink in, and when it did, I not only saw the importance of accepting how God sees me, I also saw how sharing it with others could possibly change the world. Still, God had more for me to see.
I was shown a different way of seeing Mary, the mother of Jesus. The Angel that announced she would give birth to the Son of God, first started by telling her she was highly favored by God. I’d always thought that Mary had to be someone special to be chosen for something so important. While still thinking about how highly favored Mary was, the Lord asked me a question that told me Mary wasn’t the only one. He asked me, “What was the purpose of Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection?” I knew Jesus came to save us from our sins, but at that moment, I realized the reason why. Jesus came to save us–because we are all precious and highly favored by God. I was starting to accept it, but there was still more to know.
One Sunday, during silent prayer time at church, I heard, “I have marked you.” “What?” I said. Then came, “As mine.” I didn’t know what that meant, and there wasn’t time to think about it as the pastor went on with his sermon. The answer came later while watching a pastor on TV that I record and watch after church each week. I wasn’t paying much attention, though, until I heard the word “marked.” He was explaining about being sealed or marked by the Holy Spirit as proof of God’s possession. I couldn’t help but wonder what the Lord was trying to tell me. At first, I thought it was about the sore I had gotten on my knee at the beach when I stumbled in the sand and fell on the pile of wood. The sore was in the shape of a wishbone. I thought it was kind of neat and didn’t mind if it scarred. After watching the sermon again, I was given a clue. The Lord was strengthening my identity as His child to help me to overcome the negative words spoken to me as a child. Still, I wasn’t exactly sure what it all meant.
I’d always thought I had a relatively normal childhood. Sure, sometimes my parents got angry and would say some hurtful things they didn’t mean, but I thought that happens to everyone. Plus, I thought I’d worked through and had forgiven all of that, but apparently, I’d missed something I didn’t know about or didn’t realize was important. That’s when previous lessons began coming together to show me why I was having so much trouble accepting that God sees me as precious. It turned out to be the same reason I had trouble believing that God could honor me or even love me–because I still believed the negative things said about me as a child. Without realizing it, those words had formed what I thought of myself. And what I thought of myself was overriding what God, or anyone, said about me. I began to understand that all I’d learned about God and what He could do through me was dependent on what I could see myself doing. And those negative thoughts still in my brain were blocking me from seeing myself doing anything greater than what I thought I could do.
After being shown my limiting self-image, where it had come from, and the power it still had in my life, I saw that it could be changed. So, my lesson on Precious Way was that I shouldn’t judge how God sees me by how I think of myself. Instead, I should choose to believe what God says about me and allow that to change how I see myself. Changing how I view myself, changes what I can do. And I’m excited to see what that will be!
To be continued . . . see Protection-Beltway
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With powerful lessons still circulating through my mind from Precious Way, God gave me something new to think about. He said to me, “Many have pondered, but few have seen the miraculous view of heaven.” At first, I thought the greater life of miracles I’d been wanting to see was about to begin. The more I thought about it, though, the more I wondered what He meant by “the miraculous view of heaven.” So I asked, “What does that mean, Lord?” His answer only made me more curious. All He said was, “You’re on the right track.” Protection Beltway seemed like a collection of unrelated experiences. Still, by the time I made my way around, I’d come to a greater understanding of the miraculous view of heaven.
The Lord was still pointing out things I trusted instead of Him. He caught me with another one shortly after our dog, Sandy, passed away. Without Sandy to protect me, I began feeling a little insecure about being home alone. I hadn’t realized it until one day while locking our bedroom window I felt the Lord say, “Why would you not think I would protect you?” It was a good question, so I asked myself, “Yeah, why would I not think God would protect me?” Thinking back over the previous week, I remembered sermons I’d seen on God’s protection and suspected they had been for this moment. So, I went back and watched those sermons again. I also read books on God’s promises of protection, others on angels and their role in protecting us, and Psalm 91 from the Bible.
Further around the beltway came an experience that showed me how judging can get me off track. After church one Sunday, Jim and I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. While waiting to check-out, I noticed the only thing the woman in front of us had on the conveyor belt was a bunch of roses. How fun, I thought, and then said, “Oh, someone’s getting roses!” The woman looked at me and said, “I’m visiting the cemetery for Halloween.” All kinds of weird thoughts flooded my mind at that point. Yet, I had just come from a sermon on judging, and so I only said, “Oh?” Then, the woman explained that her mother lived to be 95 years old and loved to give out candy to the children on Halloween. That’s why she chooses Halloween to visit the cemetery. Because I didn’t judge, I was able to share a special moment with a stranger in the grocery store, both teary-eyed as she remembered her mother.
God spoke something else to me that let me know He was helping me to stay on track. During a discussion in my Bible study group about Eve wanting to be like God, I said, “She was already like God, just didn’t know it.” My group leader quickly added, “No one can be at the same level as God because He created us.” I agreed, and the conversation ended. Later I felt the Lord say to me, “Don’t worry about being too much like Me, you can’t. Worry more about not being enough like Me.” I admit, at times, I had worried about making the same mistake as Eve. Relieved to know I can’t, I became more confident in my desire to do the works of Jesus.
While packing up the Christmas decorations, one of the ceramic choir boys I inherited from my mother fell off the shelf and shattered into quite a few pieces. I was heartbroken. The choir boys seemed to mean the most to me with all my mother had given me over the years. I remembered how precious they were to her. As a child, I watched how carefully she wrapped each and packed them away for the next year. When I saw Jim picking up the pieces, I knew he would try and glue them together. I told him I didn’t want to keep broken stuff glued together and begged him to throw them away, which he promised to do. Later he confessed to digging them back out of the trash and piecing them together so he could search for one on eBay. And he had found one just like it. “I already let it go, I told him, and will be happy with the two that are left.” He said he’d seen the disappointment on my face and wanted to buy it to complete the set from my mom. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by how much my husband will do to make me happy.
When the choir boy arrived in the mail, Jim and I had a special moment as we carefully unpacked and looked him over. He was perfect. Jim said, “Your mom is smiling right now.” Since all the other decorations had already been put away, we decided to keep the new Choir Boy out and enjoy him during the year. And so, I put him on the shelf in the dining room. And Jim moved him a little farther back on the shelf.
I received some insight after I started having pain in my left heel. I prayed and believed that my foot was healed by Jesus’s wounds, but the pain persisted. Even the heel and arch support inserts I put in my shoes hadn’t worked. While talking to God, I asked, “Lord, I know my feet have been healed by Jesus’s wounds, so why hasn’t my healing manifested? What do I need to do?” In the book “The Prayer Of Protection” by Joseph Prince, I read that God has provided everything, but what we receive depends on how much we think God loves us. The more we know how much God loves us, the more we will receive from Him. What I read resonated with me since my lessons from Precious Way had been about increasing my knowledge of how much God loves me. It also told me I wasn’t trusting God to protect me because I still didn’t know just how much He loves me. Then my mind went to the broken choir boy. I thought about how I wouldn’t accept him glued together, and that Jim bought me one just like it whole and new, and then I realized–that’s what God did for us!
To receive more of what God has promised, I was led to an even deeper understanding of how much God loves me. The broken choir boy showed me a different way of looking at my new birth in Christ. I saw that I’m not broken and pieced together like I once thought. Instead, like the new choir boy, I am whole and new. God loves us so much that He couldn’t leave us in our broken condition after Adam and Eve’s fall, and devised a plan to buy us back through His son Jesus Christ. Before coming to Protection Beltway, I thought that renewing my mind to God’s thoughts and ways meant I was becoming a new creation. But now I see that it’s already happened. The Bible says the moment I accepted Christ, I became a new creation, and the old has passed away. So, now that I understand my mind is being renewed to the knowledge that I’m already whole, I need to think of myself that way. Now that I have seen the miracle of my new birth from God’s point of view, I wonder how different my life will look from here.
To be continued . . . see humble-alley
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Have you ever gone from one place to another and later wondered how you got there? That’s how my trip through Humble Alley turned out.
It was one of those times when you think you’re doing something good, but it turns out to be the wrong thing. I hadn’t even realized what I’d done until I got a call from my higher-up at Bible study. I’d been researching the use of a wedge monitor for the worship team. They had been saying it was hard to hear themselves sing, and a wedge monitor would help. I didn’t know what a wedge monitor was, but in my search, I discovered a couple among the equipment backstage. The problem was that neither my leader in the sound booth nor I knew how to connect them to the sound system. So when our higher-up called, I thought she was calling to say the Tech from the church would show us. Wrong! She was calling to tell me to drop the idea. She thought they were too heavy for us and was afraid we’d get hurt. She wasn’t happy about me pushing for it either. Hoping to smooth things over, I told her I asked my study group if anyone was interested in helping in the sound booth, and one was. I thought she’d be happy to have some extra help. Wrong! Instead, in a serious tone, she said, “That’s not the way we do things.” I was so surprised by her response. After I hung up the phone, I felt so bad. I prayed and fought feelings of resentment.
The next morning I was still feeling bad about it all. After some thought, I knew it wasn’t the way they did things. It wasn’t how I’d gotten there. When I was approached, I was told my name came up after they prayed, and so I’d accepted the position believing it was what God had for me to do. It was also why I wanted to do a good job. Now I’d gone and gotten myself in trouble. Then I felt the Lord say, “So, how bad were you?” I love how He speaks to me. I smiled and thought to myself, “Yeah, how bad was I? I was only trying to help, and what harm did I do anyway?” I felt better about it, but I still wasn’t thrilled about going back. Then something in a book I was reading spoke to me. It talked about being faithful and how God would promote you. I also received encouraging words from the Worship Leader after telling her there would be no wedge monitor. She also gave me more to think about when she said, “It’s just a part of our learning how to relate and operate within the body of Christ.” So, I decided to go back and see what God would do.
As I stood in the sound booth, looking down over the auditorium, watching those preparing for the morning to begin, I started to appreciate things I hadn’t thought much about before. I thought about how much time the Worship Team spends praying, deciding on songs to sing, and rehearsing each week. I saw how faithful and devoted they were in what they did. I saw the Teaching Director and thought about the love she expresses through her lecture, always thinking of what God had given her to share with the ladies who come to learn. I thought about all the Group Leaders and the time they spend preparing for the lesson each week. Then I thought about why I was there. And that’s when it became clear–I was there to support all of them. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before, but suddenly I saw how my role in setting up the microphones and sound system was vital to all they were doing. At that moment, I submitted in my heart to God and to those He had placed over me. I said, “Okay, Lord, I’ll do this. I want to be a part of what You are doing here.” It was interesting that minutes after I surrendered, the Associate Teaching Director complimented me on my diligence and faithfulness. I took it to mean that God was pleased with my new commitment, it made me feel good.
It was a humbling experience. Everything seemed to change after that. I felt like I was in a different place, though the situation hadn’t changed. It was I that changed. I was different, and it made a difference in what I did.
The more I began to concentrate on serving mainly those with a microphone, the better I got. I gave more thought to the little details that made them feel cared for. Instead of just putting out the equipment, I started taking the time to set the mic stands to each one’s height in the Worship Team and for the Opening Speaker. One of the things I started doing for the Teaching Director was to quickly turn off her mic when she had to cough. During her lecture, I sat with my finger over the switch looking for any little facial movement that signaled she needed to cough, sneeze, or get a sip of water. By studying her each week, I got to know her, and I got good at hitting the off button at the exact time, so her cough wasn’t amplified, and then back on just as she spoke her next word. It didn’t go unnoticed, people started to comment on how precise I was. I began to think of it as an important thing I was doing. I saw it as my part in helping her feel confident as she stood on stage each week and delivered what God had given her to say.
Humility wasn’t a fun lesson. It wasn’t easy to go back to Bible study after being scolded for trying to help, but I’m so glad I did. So much good came from it. My purpose had become clear and more meaningful. After I humbled myself and renewed my commitment to God, I was reminded who my higher-up really is–the Lord Jesus Christ. Acting on the clue from my worship leader friend, I spent some time thinking about how the body of Christ operates. It was easier to understand if I related it to my own body and how it works. Like my body, Christ’s body is made up of many members, each working together with a specific purpose and abilities. If one part isn’t doing what it should or tries to do someone else’s part as I did, the entire body suffers. Some members may seem more important than others but, unless they all work together, the body won’t function properly, which means all the members are important.
When I first found myself in Humble Alley, it didn’t seem like I’d end up feeling important. So how had I gotten there? Humility! I had a new understanding of humility. It isn’t weak or thinking less of myself like I once thought. It’s more like a means of getting from one place to another. Humility had brought me to know my purpose, and knowing my purpose brought me to a place of confidence. I didn’t feel the need to compete or defend myself as much, which brought me to a peaceful place. I started to like myself and to enjoy encouraging others. Thinking of myself as a member of the body has helped me get along better with others and even appreciate the differences we all have. And oh, a little way down the road, I found out that God does promote the faithful.
To be continued . . . see Higher Point
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I wasn’t sure what I was hoping for when I signed up Jim and me for a faith conference coming to our city. Mostly, I wanted to see something I’d only read about and seen so far on TV–a miracle. I had no idea that what I would hear in the first few minutes would prepare and guide me through a tough time in my life that I didn’t know was coming.
On our way to the conference, I was going over activities in my mind I’d considered cutting from my schedule. With all the things I had going, I felt I wasn’t doing anything well. Some on the list were big things that needed Jim’s input. Not sure why I thought the short drive to the conference would be a good time to discuss them with him, but I did. Casually I asked, “Should we be spending so much time and money on our house right now?” After briefly listing a few other things, I progressed to the biggy, “Should I retire my business?” Knowing it was a lot to consider, I let him know I wasn’t expecting an answer. At that point, I was just sharing my thoughts. When we arrived at the convention center and found a parking space, Jim took my hand and suggested we ask God what He would have us cut from my list. So, we prayed and quickly asked God for His priorities. The answer also came quickly.
At the conference, the opening speaker announced that he’d recently become the ministry’s CEO and shared how overwhelmed he was feeling with all there was to do. I was already relating, but then he said, “And our properties are all in need of repair!” That really got my attention. Then he shared the answer he got after praying for priorities, “Don’t cut anything, come up to a higher level of faith. And get your house in order!” is what the Lord told him. Jim and I looked at each other in amazement and agreed that it was our answer too!
Knowing that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God, I decided to make my Bible study a priority. In fact, I added two more Bible studies I felt the Lord had led me to. When the studies began to be too much to get done during the week, instead of letting some questions slide and only complete what I had time for, I committed to finishing them all. Believing it would bring me to a higher level of faith and everything would get done, I asked my study groups to pray that I’d be able to keep that commitment. And we also continued fixing up our house.
With all the Bible studies, I was learning so much, and my faith was growing. I was praying more and even learning through my prayers. Jim was due for the blood test that checks if cancer has returned, and before he left, I prayed the test would prove by Jesus’ stripes he was healed. While saying goodbye, a correction to my prayer came to my mind. So, I said to him, “It’s not your blood that proves you’re healed–it’s Jesus’ blood.” After Jim left, another correction came to me. Again I prayed, “Lord, Your blood proved Your word that says by Your stripes Jim is healed. And your resurrection is proof that all of that is true!”
One of the new Bible groups I had joined decided their next study would be about heaven. They looked forward to knowing more about where they were headed, but I wasn’t all that excited about it. I was more interested in learning how to bring heaven to earth as Jesus prayed in the Lord’s prayer. Since I’d completed the one study, I thought it was a good time to step out of that group. That decision was turned around the next morning while watching a preacher on TV talking about thinking small. “You gotta think bigger,” he said. I’d heard that kind of thing before, but what he said next was a game-changer for me. He said, “Stop trying to bring God’s plan down to your level. Let God take you up to His level.” Wow, I felt like God was saying to me, “How do you think you can bring heaven to earth without first knowing what heaven is like?” He had me on that one!
Two days after deciding to stay and study heaven, my best friend’s daughter called and told me her mom had died. It was so hard to believe. My friend couldn’t have died so suddenly at age 64. I didn’t want it to be true and hoped it was a terrible dream I’d wake up from. About an hour later, the thought came to me–why didn’t I have Sarah put the phone up to Barb’s ear so I could tell her to get up in the name of Jesus? I hadn’t even thought of it. When I told Jim it was because I didn’t have the faith, he said, “You have the faith now, do it now.” But Sarah might not still be there, or they may have taken Barb already, I answered. Find out, he said, call her. I didn’t know if it would work out, and Sarah might think I’m crazy, but with Jim’s encouragement, I called Sarah back. She answered and was still at the hospital outside the room where her mother lay. I asked her if she would put the phone to her mother’s ear. She didn’t comment or ask any questions as I feared. She only said she had to get someone to let her in. To my surprise, it only took a couple of minutes, and she had the phone on my friend’s ear. I had the chance, so boldly, I said, Barbara Lynn–get up in the name of Jesus! I said it a couple of times and then asked Sarah if her mom woke up. No, Sarah said. My friend didn’t get up, but I was glad I gave her that chance. I was also glad to have had the faith to think of it, though delayed.
Thinking it might cheer me up, I greeted at church that Sunday as if nothing happened. I was doing pretty well until one lady asked how my week went, and I said, “Oh, not so good, actually.” I said it in a way most would have nodded in sympathy but not this lady. She looked me in the eye and asked what was going on. So, I told her my best friend of fifty years had died suddenly on Friday. Then she pulled me aside and said something my friend would have said as she hugged me, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” I cried, she cried too and held me until she thought I was ok to go back to greeting. I guess it was what I needed. Thank you, Lord.
Jim and I drove to Texas for the funeral. While there, I was glad to have a quiet moment to explain to Sarah about putting the phone to her mother’s ear. “Everyone has a different way of coping,” she said. When I told her what I’d actually said, she seemed to like it, even believed it could have happened and was glad too I’d given her mom that chance. I was happy to hear her say her mom would have wanted to come back to life. Some don’t, I’m told.
I thought I’d have a friend who could tell me first hand what heaven is like, but that didn’t happen. Still, learning more about where my friend is and what she’s doing made the study of heaven that much more interesting.
To be continued . . . see Courage Ridge
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Three weeks after my friend died, I was given another opportunity to pray and raise someone from the dead. A deputy called and told me that my brother, Tom, had been killed by a drunk driver and that she was in custody. It seemed unreal, so close to hearing about Barbara and now Tom. After a few hours in shock, my faith again rose up. I prayed out loud in the name of Jesus for Tom to get up, to live, and not die. Then I waited to hear. It was winter on the mountain where Tom had made his life, and his friends there had decided to wait until Spring to hold a memorial service. God used the time in between to show me a little more of how to bring heaven to earth and how courage works with faith.
I had no doubt that Barbara was in heaven, but I wasn’t as sure about Tom. I knew he believed in God from the one time he told me that God has always existed. Still, I didn’t know what he understood about Jesus and if he’d accepted Him. So, I asked God if Tom had made it to heaven. The answer came while talking with our cousin, pastor Linda. I told her about all the time I had spent with Tom getting our parent’s house ready for sale. How he allowed me to lay hands on his various pains and pray for his healing and that he believed it would help him. Then Linda told me about what Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 10:40, “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.” That was my answer! Tommy was in heaven!
Feeling the power of my friends’ prayers, I continued with my commitments at Bible study. I thought I was doing good until I realized I hadn’t set up a mic stand for one of the worship singers. It was eerie to see that I wasn’t functioning as well as I thought. While talking with the worship leader, I told her that I didn’t have any anger or resentment toward the drunk driver. Then she said something I never saw coming. She said she saw the woman reading my book. Wow, I thought, I don’t know if I’m that far along. My leader in the sound booth also told me something I didn’t think I was quite ready for. She told me about a California law that gives the victim’s family the right to speak at the sentencing. The thought of standing up in court and sharing my feelings made me nervous, but it was almost like the Lord was preparing me for it. So, I decided to pray for the words that He would have me say.
The words for the Victim Impact Statement turned out to be pretty much what I was feeling and settled a question that had bothered me. I wondered how I could forgive the woman and yet want her prosecuted for what she’d done. The statement briefly said, “I have a conflict of interest in this case and should probably recuse myself. As a Christian, I am commanded to forgive you. And I have. Under God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, all have been forgiven, so who am I not to forgive. But at the same time, your reckless actions are responsible for my brother’s violent death. And so, while I hold no malice toward you, I will in no way interfere with these legal proceedings and will let justice take its course. I’ll continue to pray for you to come to the knowledge and forgiveness that Jesus offers you and that your life may come of good to others. Thank you for this opportunity to speak.”
My leader thought my statement was very good. I did too, which gave me the confidence I thought I’d need to say it in court. Still, as the trial date kept getting postponed for various reasons, I began to lose courage. Although I understood the role of forgiveness, I didn’t think it would go down easily for those around me who were still angry and bitter. Learning to forgive has been a large part of my journey. In my book, A Different Way, two chapters were dedicated to forgiving and the life-changing benefits I experienced from it. Since then, I’ve come to believe forgiveness is God’s plan for bringing heaven to earth and that it’s all laid out in the Lord’s prayer.
So many of Tom’s friends showed up to the memorial service. I enjoyed hearing about their special times with Tom and those who spoke of how he had helped them. I wasn’t sure if they’d be interested in knowing that Tom made it to heaven, but it was what I wanted to share if I were to muster up the courage. While sitting with my other two brothers, one started talking about when Tom was home helping clean out our parents’ house, and I just knew it was my cue from the Lord. Nervously, I stepped up to the microphone, said that I was Tom’s sister and wanted to share a story. It was tough to back out at that point, so I started telling them that Tom and I spent a lot of time together, getting our family home ready for sale. I shared that I’d discovered God later in life and had come to be interested in the healing Jesus provided for us. I told of the various pains Tom would come with, and when I’d ask if I could lay hands on him and pray, he always said yes. They laughed when I told of the time he had a toothache, and his cheek was all swelled up, and when I asked if I could pray for him, he said, “Yeah, but don’t touch it!” Then I told them I’d asked God if he made it to heaven and how the answer had come. I ended with, “If it matters to you, I wanted to share that Tom is in heaven.” When I finished, a couple came and hugged me, thanked me for sharing, and said they were glad to know that Tom’s in heaven.
I was glad to have had the courage to share my story and learn more about Tom from his friends. He’d moved away from our family home so long ago and lived a different life than we were raised. I was glad to know he was happy in the mountain life he had found. As I write this, it’s been almost three years since the awful crash. The woman is still in jail awaiting her trial, and I’ve had plenty of time to grow into the impact statement the Lord gave me. I learned that I can trust courage to be there when I take a step towards it. Just like when I stepped up to share my faith at the memorial service and courage came, I can trust it will be there when it’s time to stand up in court and share the Victim’s Impact Statement. And maybe I’ll also have the courage to give the woman my book to fulfill my worship friend’s vision.
To be continued . . . see Mock Byway
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