Have you ever gone from one place to another and later wondered how you got there? That’s how my trip through Humble Alley turned out.
It was one of those times when you think you’re doing something good, but it turns out to be the wrong thing. I hadn’t even realized what I’d done until I got a call from my higher-up at Bible study. I’d been researching the use of a wedge monitor for the worship team. They had been saying it was hard to hear themselves sing, and a wedge monitor would help. I didn’t know what a wedge monitor was, but in my search, I discovered a couple among the equipment backstage. The problem was that neither my leader in the sound booth nor I knew how to connect them to the sound system. So when our higher-up called, I thought she was calling to say the Tech from the church would show us. Wrong! She was calling to tell me to drop the idea. She thought they were too heavy for us and was afraid we’d get hurt. She wasn’t happy about me pushing for it either. Hoping to smooth things over, I told her I asked my study group if anyone was interested in helping in the sound booth, and one was. I thought she’d be happy to have some extra help. Wrong! Instead, in a serious tone, she said, “That’s not the way we do things.” I was so surprised by her response. After I hung up the phone, I felt so bad. I prayed and fought feelings of resentment.
The next morning I was still feeling bad about it all. After some thought, I knew it wasn’t the way they did things. It wasn’t how I’d gotten there. When I was approached, I was told my name came up after they prayed, and so I’d accepted the position believing it was what God had for me to do. It was also why I wanted to do a good job. Now I’d gone and gotten myself in trouble. Then I felt the Lord say, “So, how bad were you?” I love how He speaks to me. I smiled and thought to myself, “Yeah, how bad was I? I was only trying to help, and what harm did I do anyway?” I felt better about it, but I still wasn’t thrilled about going back. Then something in a book I was reading spoke to me. It talked about being faithful and how God would promote you. I also received encouraging words from the Worship Leader after telling her there would be no wedge monitor. She also gave me more to think about when she said, “It’s just a part of our learning how to relate and operate within the body of Christ.” So, I decided to go back and see what God would do.
As I stood in the sound booth, looking down over the auditorium, watching those preparing for the morning to begin, I started to appreciate things I hadn’t thought much about before. I thought about how much time the Worship Team spends praying, deciding on songs to sing, and rehearsing each week. I saw how faithful and devoted they were in what they did. I saw the Teaching Director and thought about the love she expresses through her lecture, always thinking of what God had given her to share with the ladies who come to learn. I thought about all the Group Leaders and the time they spend preparing for the lesson each week. Then I thought about why I was there. And that’s when it became clear–I was there to support all of them. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before, but suddenly I saw how my role in setting up the microphones and sound system was vital to all they were doing. At that moment, I submitted in my heart to God and to those He had placed over me. I said, “Okay, Lord, I’ll do this. I want to be a part of what You are doing here.” It was interesting that minutes after I surrendered, the Associate Teaching Director complimented me on my diligence and faithfulness. I took it to mean that God was pleased with my new commitment, it made me feel good.
It was a humbling experience. Everything seemed to change after that. I felt like I was in a different place, though the situation hadn’t changed. It was I that changed. I was different, and it made a difference in what I did.
The more I began to concentrate on serving mainly those with a microphone, the better I got. I gave more thought to the little details that made them feel cared for. Instead of just putting out the equipment, I started taking the time to set the mic stands to each one’s height in the Worship Team and for the Opening Speaker. One of the things I started doing for the Teaching Director was to quickly turn off her mic when she had to cough. During her lecture, I sat with my finger over the switch looking for any little facial movement that signaled she needed to cough, sneeze, or get a sip of water. By studying her each week, I got to know her, and I got good at hitting the off button at the exact time, so her cough wasn’t amplified, and then back on just as she spoke her next word. It didn’t go unnoticed, people started to comment on how precise I was. I began to think of it as an important thing I was doing. I saw it as my part in helping her feel confident as she stood on stage each week and delivered what God had given her to say.
Humility wasn’t a fun lesson. It wasn’t easy to go back to Bible study after being scolded for trying to help, but I’m so glad I did. So much good came from it. My purpose had become clear and more meaningful. After I humbled myself and renewed my commitment to God, I was reminded who my higher-up really is–the Lord Jesus Christ. Acting on the clue from my worship leader friend, I spent some time thinking about how the body of Christ operates. It was easier to understand if I related it to my own body and how it works. Like my body, Christ’s body is made up of many members, each working together with a specific purpose and abilities. If one part isn’t doing what it should or tries to do someone else’s part as I did, the entire body suffers. Some members may seem more important than others but, unless they all work together, the body won’t function properly, which means all the members are important.
When I first found myself in Humble Alley, it didn’t seem like I’d end up feeling important. So how had I gotten there? Humility! I had a new understanding of humility. It isn’t weak or thinking less of myself like I once thought. It’s more like a means of getting from one place to another. Humility had brought me to know my purpose, and knowing my purpose brought me to a place of confidence. I didn’t feel the need to compete or defend myself as much, which brought me to a peaceful place. I started to like myself and to enjoy encouraging others. Thinking of myself as a member of the body has helped me get along better with others and even appreciate the differences we all have. And oh, a little way down the road, I found out that God does promote the faithful.
To be continued . . . see Higher Point
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I wasn’t sure what I was hoping for when I signed up Jim and me for a faith conference coming to our city. Mostly, I wanted to see something I’d only read about and seen so far on TV–a miracle. I had no idea that what I would hear in the first few minutes would prepare and guide me through a tough time in my life that I didn’t know was coming.
On our way to the conference, I was going over activities in my mind I’d considered cutting from my schedule. With all the things I had going, I felt I wasn’t doing anything well. Some on the list were big things that needed Jim’s input. Not sure why I thought the short drive to the conference would be a good time to discuss them with him, but I did. Casually I asked, “Should we be spending so much time and money on our house right now?” After briefly listing a few other things, I progressed to the biggy, “Should I retire my business?” Knowing it was a lot to consider, I let him know I wasn’t expecting an answer. At that point, I was just sharing my thoughts. When we arrived at the convention center and found a parking space, Jim took my hand and suggested we ask God what He would have us cut from my list. So, we prayed and quickly asked God for His priorities. The answer also came quickly.
At the conference, the opening speaker announced that he’d recently become the ministry’s CEO and shared how overwhelmed he was feeling with all there was to do. I was already relating, but then he said, “And our properties are all in need of repair!” That really got my attention. Then he shared the answer he got after praying for priorities, “Don’t cut anything, come up to a higher level of faith. And get your house in order!” is what the Lord told him. Jim and I looked at each other in amazement and agreed that it was our answer too!
Knowing that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God, I decided to make my Bible study a priority. In fact, I added two more Bible studies I felt the Lord had led me to. When the studies began to be too much to get done during the week, instead of letting some questions slide and only complete what I had time for, I committed to finishing them all. Believing it would bring me to a higher level of faith and everything would get done, I asked my study groups to pray that I’d be able to keep that commitment. And we also continued fixing up our house.
With all the Bible studies, I was learning so much, and my faith was growing. I was praying more and even learning through my prayers. Jim was due for the blood test that checks if cancer has returned, and before he left, I prayed the test would prove by Jesus’ stripes he was healed. While saying goodbye, a correction to my prayer came to my mind. So, I said to him, “It’s not your blood that proves you’re healed–it’s Jesus’ blood.” After Jim left, another correction came to me. Again I prayed, “Lord, Your blood proved Your word that says by Your stripes Jim is healed. And your resurrection is proof that all of that is true!”
One of the new Bible groups I had joined decided their next study would be about heaven. They looked forward to knowing more about where they were headed, but I wasn’t all that excited about it. I was more interested in learning how to bring heaven to earth as Jesus prayed in the Lord’s prayer. Since I’d completed the one study, I thought it was a good time to step out of that group. That decision was turned around the next morning while watching a preacher on TV talking about thinking small. “You gotta think bigger,” he said. I’d heard that kind of thing before, but what he said next was a game-changer for me. He said, “Stop trying to bring God’s plan down to your level. Let God take you up to His level.” Wow, I felt like God was saying to me, “How do you think you can bring heaven to earth without first knowing what heaven is like?” He had me on that one!
Two days after deciding to stay and study heaven, my best friend’s daughter called and told me her mom had died. It was so hard to believe. My friend couldn’t have died so suddenly at age 64. I didn’t want it to be true and hoped it was a terrible dream I’d wake up from. About an hour later, the thought came to me–why didn’t I have Sarah put the phone up to Barb’s ear so I could tell her to get up in the name of Jesus? I hadn’t even thought of it. When I told Jim it was because I didn’t have the faith, he said, “You have the faith now, do it now.” But Sarah might not still be there, or they may have taken Barb already, I answered. Find out, he said, call her. I didn’t know if it would work out, and Sarah might think I’m crazy, but with Jim’s encouragement, I called Sarah back. She answered and was still at the hospital outside the room where her mother lay. I asked her if she would put the phone to her mother’s ear. She didn’t comment or ask any questions as I feared. She only said she had to get someone to let her in. To my surprise, it only took a couple of minutes, and she had the phone on my friend’s ear. I had the chance, so boldly, I said, Barbara Lynn–get up in the name of Jesus! I said it a couple of times and then asked Sarah if her mom woke up. No, Sarah said. My friend didn’t get up, but I was glad I gave her that chance. I was also glad to have had the faith to think of it, though delayed.
Thinking it might cheer me up, I greeted at church that Sunday as if nothing happened. I was doing pretty well until one lady asked how my week went, and I said, “Oh, not so good, actually.” I said it in a way most would have nodded in sympathy but not this lady. She looked me in the eye and asked what was going on. So, I told her my best friend of fifty years had died suddenly on Friday. Then she pulled me aside and said something my friend would have said as she hugged me, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” I cried, she cried too and held me until she thought I was ok to go back to greeting. I guess it was what I needed. Thank you, Lord.
Jim and I drove to Texas for the funeral. While there, I was glad to have a quiet moment to explain to Sarah about putting the phone to her mother’s ear. “Everyone has a different way of coping,” she said. When I told her what I’d actually said, she seemed to like it, even believed it could have happened and was glad too I’d given her mom that chance. I was happy to hear her say her mom would have wanted to come back to life. Some don’t, I’m told.
I thought I’d have a friend who could tell me first hand what heaven is like, but that didn’t happen. Still, learning more about where my friend is and what she’s doing made the study of heaven that much more interesting.
To be continued . . . see Courage Ridge
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Three weeks after my friend died, I was given another opportunity to pray and raise someone from the dead. A deputy called and told me that my brother, Tom, had been killed by a drunk driver and that she was in custody. It seemed unreal, so close to hearing about Barbara and now Tom. After a few hours in shock, my faith again rose up. I prayed out loud in the name of Jesus for Tom to get up, to live, and not die. Then I waited to hear. It was winter on the mountain where Tom had made his life, and his friends there had decided to wait until Spring to hold a memorial service. God used the time in between to show me a little more of how to bring heaven to earth and how courage works with faith.
I had no doubt that Barbara was in heaven, but I wasn’t as sure about Tom. I knew he believed in God from the one time he told me that God has always existed. Still, I didn’t know what he understood about Jesus and if he’d accepted Him. So, I asked God if Tom had made it to heaven. The answer came while talking with our cousin, pastor Linda. I told her about all the time I had spent with Tom getting our parent’s house ready for sale. How he allowed me to lay hands on his various pains and pray for his healing and that he believed it would help him. Then Linda told me about what Jesus said to his disciples in Matthew 10:40, “He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me.” That was my answer! Tommy was in heaven!
Feeling the power of my friends’ prayers, I continued with my commitments at Bible study. I thought I was doing good until I realized I hadn’t set up a mic stand for one of the worship singers. It was eerie to see that I wasn’t functioning as well as I thought. While talking with the worship leader, I told her that I didn’t have any anger or resentment toward the drunk driver. Then she said something I never saw coming. She said she saw the woman reading my book. Wow, I thought, I don’t know if I’m that far along. My leader in the sound booth also told me something I didn’t think I was quite ready for. She told me about a California law that gives the victim’s family the right to speak at the sentencing. The thought of standing up in court and sharing my feelings made me nervous, but it was almost like the Lord was preparing me for it. So, I decided to pray for the words that He would have me say.
The words for the Victim Impact Statement turned out to be pretty much what I was feeling and settled a question that had bothered me. I wondered how I could forgive the woman and yet want her prosecuted for what she’d done. The statement briefly said, “I have a conflict of interest in this case and should probably recuse myself. As a Christian, I am commanded to forgive you. And I have. Under God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, all have been forgiven, so who am I not to forgive. But at the same time, your reckless actions are responsible for my brother’s violent death. And so, while I hold no malice toward you, I will in no way interfere with these legal proceedings and will let justice take its course. I’ll continue to pray for you to come to the knowledge and forgiveness that Jesus offers you and that your life may come of good to others. Thank you for this opportunity to speak.”
My leader thought my statement was very good. I did too, which gave me the confidence I thought I’d need to say it in court. Still, as the trial date kept getting postponed for various reasons, I began to lose courage. Although I understood the role of forgiveness, I didn’t think it would go down easily for those around me who were still angry and bitter. Learning to forgive has been a large part of my journey. In my book, A Different Way, two chapters were dedicated to forgiving and the life-changing benefits I experienced from it. Since then, I’ve come to believe forgiveness is God’s plan for bringing heaven to earth and that it’s all laid out in the Lord’s prayer.
So many of Tom’s friends showed up to the memorial service. I enjoyed hearing about their special times with Tom and those who spoke of how he had helped them. I wasn’t sure if they’d be interested in knowing that Tom made it to heaven, but it was what I wanted to share if I were to muster up the courage. While sitting with my other two brothers, one started talking about when Tom was home helping clean out our parents’ house, and I just knew it was my cue from the Lord. Nervously, I stepped up to the microphone, said that I was Tom’s sister and wanted to share a story. It was tough to back out at that point, so I started telling them that Tom and I spent a lot of time together, getting our family home ready for sale. I shared that I’d discovered God later in life and had come to be interested in the healing Jesus provided for us. I told of the various pains Tom would come with, and when I’d ask if I could lay hands on him and pray, he always said yes. They laughed when I told of the time he had a toothache, and his cheek was all swelled up, and when I asked if I could pray for him, he said, “Yeah, but don’t touch it!” Then I told them I’d asked God if he made it to heaven and how the answer had come. I ended with, “If it matters to you, I wanted to share that Tom is in heaven.” When I finished, a couple came and hugged me, thanked me for sharing, and said they were glad to know that Tom’s in heaven.
I was glad to have had the courage to share my story and learn more about Tom from his friends. He’d moved away from our family home so long ago and lived a different life than we were raised. I was glad to know he was happy in the mountain life he had found. As I write this, it’s been almost three years since the awful crash. The woman is still in jail awaiting her trial, and I’ve had plenty of time to grow into the impact statement the Lord gave me. I learned that I can trust courage to be there when I take a step towards it. Just like when I stepped up to share my faith at the memorial service and courage came, I can trust it will be there when it’s time to stand up in court and share the Victim’s Impact Statement. And maybe I’ll also have the courage to give the woman my book to fulfill my worship friend’s vision.
To be continued . . . see Mock Byway
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My cousin, Pastor Linda, had gone with Jim and me to Tom’s memorial service and spoke there about forgiveness. On the way home, out of the blue, she told me I was a genius. Thinking she was kidding, I laughed and said, “That’s crazy!” She was serious, though, and kind of upset that I would laugh. She then told me to stop mocking her. I didn’t say any more about it, but I still didn’t believe her.
The following day, still thinking about it, I searched my mind to see what there was about me that would make Linda believe I was a genius. That’s when the Lord said I do the same thing with Him–mock Him when I don’t believe what He says about me. Wow, I thought, now that’s really serious! You have my attention, Lord, I said. Then He related it to healing. Instead of accepting by faith that I’m healed by His stripes, he told me I search my body and other places for proof that I’m healed. I saw His point. I was doing the same thing by looking for evidence that I’m a genius instead of accepting the words given to me by faith.
First Linda, and then the Lord, saying I mock them? There must be something to it, but what exactly, I wasn’t sure. It seemed a lot similar to when I had trouble accepting that I’m precious in God’s eyes. So, I went back and reread my Precious Way blog. Seeing the lessons there made me think this could be either a test, a continuation, or possibly both. I had learned negative words spoken over me as a child can override what God or anyone says about me. Which makes it difficult to see myself doing anything greater than what I was told. My conclusion on Precious Way was that I shouldn’t judge how God sees me by what I think of myself but instead allow what God says about me to change how I see myself. Putting together what I’d been told so far on Mock Byway, I thought I might begin to see miracles if I accepted what God says about me. So, excitedly, I followed along to see what else I’d learn.
I wouldn’t have gone looking to learn about insecurity. But, Beth Moore’s book, So Long Insecurity, sort of found me one morning at church. When we showed up to greet, there were tables full of books out on the patio. The church library was closing, and they were giving all the books away. We were told to take a look to see if there were any we wanted. I looked through the books, and So Long Insecurity was the only book that interested me. Still, I wasn’t sure I’d read it. I like Beth Moore a lot. She’s fun to watch, but I feared I might get frustrated reading through her flowery stories to get to the meaty insights I really like. I had the time while waiting for books I’d ordered to come, and it was free, so I thought I’d see what it’s about.
I was surprised at how much I got out of it. Beth explained what insecurity is, where it comes from, and how it not only steals our peace and joy but also limits what God can do through us. I didn’t want that! I wondered if it could be the reason I wasn’t seeing healing miracles. It also made me wonder how I’d be able to do genius-level things while rejecting the thought of being a genius? My thinking was challenged when I read, “Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life. It also insults the grace of God that will be piled in heaps for us when hardship comes.” This line I read a few times and then wanted to write it on my wall… “The Creator of heaven and earth assigned us dignity and immeasurable value, and only when we finally accept those inalienable truths will we discover authentic security.” And this sentence kind of said it all, at least for me: “In the radiance of His greatness, we are made great.”
Soon after finishing So Long Insecurity, I received the book I’d been anxiously awaiting–Accelerated Healing by John Proodian. I’d seen the author interviewed on TV and was intrigued by his story. He was a pastor and prayed for people to be healed but saw no one healed in thirty years. He’d gotten to the point he was afraid to pray for people. When his wife needed prayer for her knee, they went to a healing conference. While his wife received healing, he received faith for a healing ministry when a 12-year-old girl, the size of a five-year-old, grew to normal size right before their eyes! How I’d love to see a miracle like that! Yet, there was more in the book to help develop my faith for healing. I found this to be a powerful statement, “If one understood and truly believed that Christ was in them, they’d never be afraid to lay hands on someone. And to not see that person healed would never enter into their thinking because, hey, Christ is in them.” Accelerated Healing was so powerful that I read it twice before passing it on to a friend. And reread it when she returned it a couple weeks later.
The lessons on Mock Byway seemed to come together while we were traveling on a train through Alaska. The tour guide was pointing out Glaciers, but I couldn’t see them. I was so confused. I was expecting to see a glacier in the water, but we were looking at mountains. The guide explained that glaciers are formed on the sides of mountains and eventually slide down into the water. When I heard the man next to me say, “I guess I need to redefine my idea of a glacier.” I knew I did too. And not just for glaciers. I needed to redefine my idea of myself. I always thought a genius was a brilliant person, much more intelligent than me. What I wasn’t taking into account was the Holy Spirit inside me. I needed to seriously start thinking of myself as not only me, but Jesus and me together in everything I do, and see what happens.
To be continued . . . see Miracle-Mile
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When Jim and I got back from Alaska, I learned my friend, Debra, had received the miracle many had prayed for. She’d been healed from the incurable disease Multiple Sclerosis (MS)! Though it came suddenly, it was a long twenty-five-year journey getting there.
My friendship with Debra, the worship leader at Bible study, began about three years before her miracle healing when I joined the tech team. I got to know her and the disease she’d been living with through short chats while setting up and putting away the sound equipment. I learned that she needed to sit while she played the guitar and sang to conserve her strength. After she explained that the higher stool allowed her the lung compacity to sing, I made sure to always have one set out for her. I also discovered we had something in common that not many do. She, too, had written a book, Garden Lessons, and writes a blog based on her experiences with God.
Debra didn’t seem to mind my questions about her illness or ones regarding divine healing. At one point, I asked her the same question Jesus asked the lame man who had been waiting at the pool for 38 years to be healed, “Do you want to be made well?” Immediately she replied, “Yes!” But then said that God would heal her in His time. And in the meantime, she’s learning much and becoming closer to the Lord. It was almost as if she didn’t mind living with MS. But I minded. I wanted her to be well and believed she could be. I also asked what I knew to be another important question in receiving God’s healing, “Do you have unforgiveness toward anyone?” She assured me she didn’t.
As our friendship developed, we began sharing more about our lives through Facebook messaging, emails, and two-hour lunches. Debra’s been a Christian all her life; her father is a pastor, and she’s studied the Bible so much longer than me. Her feedback meant a lot to me. It also, at times, revealed differences in our beliefs. Like the one time I told her I was praying for her healing, and she said she’d take it if that was the Lord’s will for her. When I replied, “It is His will, why would you say ‘If’?” she answered, “Because He has said no for 23 years.” I could see how it would look like a “no,” but I had trouble believing that God would say “no” when Jesus had shed His blood for our healing.
Though I prayed for symptoms to be healed as she’d tell me about them, I’d been wanting to lay hands on her and pray she’d be healed from MS. I just wasn’t sure how to approach her about it. About two years before her miracle, the opportunity presented itself in the most unlikely way–while I was driving! While riding home together from the weekend Bible study retreat, I suddenly asked if I could lay hands on her and pray. She agreed, so I reached over and touched her and said a quick prayer for her to be healed from MS in Jesus’ name. We were both amazed at how it came about and were believing Jesus had healed her. Later I messaged to tell her I was fully convinced that Jesus can, will, and has healed her from MS. She agreed but added something that prompted me to start doing more than pray for her. She said, “And Lord grow my faith!”
At the time, I’d been growing my faith for Jim’s healing from cancer and thought of all the books I’d read about God’s healing. I remembered the collection of Healing Journeys DVDs from Andrew Wommack Ministries I had and how much seeing them had boosted our faith. Thinking they might help grow Debra’s faith for healing, I asked if she’d be interested in watching actual people who’ve been healed tell how their healing came about. She said she was. So, I brought one the next week to Bible study, and we exchanged them each week or so as she was ready for another.
Questions over the DVDs led us to some interesting conversations and sometimes into conflicts over our different beliefs. Conflicts seemed to center on her belief that God was allowing the disease to teach and grow her. My thinking was that her faith was divided between believing God was using the disease to bless her and believing He is healing her. When I told her God had no reason to allow a disease that Jesus had defeated with His blood, it didn’t sit well with her. I was sent a long list of blessings she had received over the twenty-four years, along with supportive scripture. I felt bad about upsetting her but was glad to learn more about what she believed and why. I looked up all the scriptures she included and actually saw some that supported my beliefs.
Even though I told her I was still going to believe that Jesus healed her when He took the stripes on Himself, she was convincing in her beliefs. I began to have doubts and got frustrated trying to make sense of all that she kept telling me and comparing it to what I’d been learning about healing. Confused and frustrated, I gave it all to God. I said, Lord, Debra’s right; if she’s going to be healed, then You will do it. I can’t make it happen for her, and maybe I’m trying to do something that isn’t up to me. So, I give it all to You, Lord.
After my rant, I was reminded that I shouldn’t base my beliefs on what others say. I need to establish what I believe in what God’s word says to me. I also noticed an encouraging change in Debra’s words to me. She said, “The DVDs are giving me much to ponder and pray about! I’m listening for God’s voice and having some interesting conversations. So, stay tuned! I know healing is coming!” When she finished with all the DVDs, we began exchanging books we were reading. The last one I gave her was the book Accelerated Healing by John Proodian.
It came to the point where all the medications Debra had been taking to control the MS symptoms began causing other problems in her body. So, to cleanse her system, her doctor took her off everything, which then caused a bad MS flare-up. While praying and worshiping, she cried out for Jesus to heal her. She said she instantly felt something in her legs and has been strong and normal ever since. Hallelujah! Wow, I was so amazed! Glory to God!
Now, three years since her healing, each time I see Debra standing strong to play her guitar and sing, no longer needing to sit on a stool, I’m witnessing a miracle! She is no longer like the lame man at the pool waiting to be healed. I now see her as the woman in the Bible who came to Jesus saying, “If only I touch His garment, I will be made well.” When she did, the woman immediately felt in her body that she was healed. And Jesus said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well.”
To be continued . . . see Authority-Pass
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Authority was not a subject that much interested me until I saw its connection to great faith. When I was writing Humble Alley, the Lord had me reread the Bible story of the Centurion who came to Jesus seeking healing for his paralyzed servant. Other times my focus had been on Jesus marveling at the Centurion’s great faith because that’s what I was hoping for. This time I saw the Centurion’s humility when even though Jesus said he would come and heal his servant, he said, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof.” I wanted to share then how I’d made the connection between great faith and humility but waited because I’d also seen another connection to great faith–the understanding of authority.
The Centurion believed Jesus didn’t need to actually come to heal his servant. He told Jesus, “But only speak a word, and my servant will be healed.” He then explained why he believed, “For I also am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” It was the Centurion’s understanding of authority that caused Jesus to marvel. In Authority Pass, I was given my own understanding of authority. It came through a powerful word from the Lord, a promotion, and a new way of looking at authority.
Before going to our Bible study group, my Leader in the sound booth, Shelley, and I set up the microphones, ready for the Children’s Ministry performance. On my way back to the sound booth after group, Nancy, our higher up, mentioned that she had readjusted the microphones according to the Children’s Director’s instructions. While the children were taking their places on stage, one of the teachers came and told Shelley and me that the microphones weren’t set up correctly for the children. As she started to tell us how they should be, I spoke up and said, “Nancy has them set to Barb’s instructions.” The teacher stopped and said, “Ok, that settles it.” She then turned and walked away. Wow, that was easy, I said, as Shelley and I looked at each other amazed at how quickly she agreed.
Later that night, as I was falling asleep, I wondered what caused the teacher to so quickly surrender her plan. Thinking it had something to do with the Children’s Director having more authority than the teacher, I concluded that it was the use of Barb’s name. I also thought if Nancy hadn’t told me she had adjusted the microphones to Barb’s instructions, who knows how it could have turned out. That’s when I felt the Lord say to me, “It should work the same with My Name.” Wow! Immediately I knew I’d been given a powerful lesson.
The authority lessons continued in a more practical sense when I received a promotion. Near the end of the year, Nancy and Shelley told me they would not be returning to Bible study the following year due to personal life changes. What? But that would mean I’d be the only one left that knew anything! Don’t worry, they said, they would train someone to work with me, which they did. They trained three. One to replace Nancy and two in Shelley’s place to work with me in the sound booth.
When the new year began, I was invited to join the Leaders group. How fun, I thought, to be back in the Leader’s group where I learned so much during the two years as a Children’s Teacher. I hadn’t yet put it together that I was the new Leader in the sound booth. I didn’t actually find out until I was introduced to the group as the new Lead Tech. I was so surprised, I didn’t know what to say. So, what I was thinking just came out of my mouth, “I didn’t know I was Lead Tech! I thought I was Co-Tech!” And everyone laughed. Afterward, I remembered, tucked amidst the tough lessons on humility, I’d learned that the Lord promotes the faithful. At the time, I hadn’t considered it much more than motivation for making my way through Humble Alley, but suddenly, there it was.
Another lesson came while listening to Curry Blake’s CD on the Authority of the Kingdom. I thought I knew what authority was, but Curry renamed it in such a way that made it abundantly clear to me. When he said that authority is nothing more than “Pre-Permission,” I understood it completely. A couple of days before, a client gave me pre-permission to decide how many of his prescription forms to order. I’d worked many years with this client, always giving him price quotes for three quantity breaks, as was my custom. This time he was in a rush for them and was so busy that he didn’t have time to talk. He asked me to go by what he ordered last time and to order the best quantity pricing. He specifically said he was giving me permission ahead of time, and I didn’t need to run it by him for approval. He was giving his approval now while talking to me. Having that experience made it easier to understand what Curry Blake was saying. He said, “Each time we see a sick person, we don’t need to ask permission to pray. Jesus already gave pre-permission when He said believers shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover.”
A test of the Pre-Permission Lesson came during my new position as Lead Tech. The ear hook microphone used by the Teaching Director was intermittently tuning in and out, and I thought we should buy a new one to have as a backup. Thinking the clip-on lapel mic would be more convenient for guest speakers, I emailed the Teaching Director a link to the one I had in mind. She replied back and said she prefers the ear style but trusts me and to go ahead and order what I think is best. Even though I thought the clip-on mic would be best, wanting to please the Director, I ordered the ear mic she preferred, which turned out to be a mistake. After using the ear mic a few times, the Director came to me and said that the ladies hugging her before her speech moved the microphone out of place. Thinking it may have been the problem with the old mic, she wanted to change to the lapel-style mic. I couldn’t help thinking if I’d done as I was told and ordered the mic I thought was best the first time, we would already have it. Which led me to believe I needed to start trusting myself when others say they trust me.
The thought of Jesus trusting me with His name was, and still is, very humbling. But a greater understanding of authority increased my faith to begin exercising the authority I’d been given when praying in His name. My leadership role at Bible study would soon become even more significant in my life as my journey to great faith continued.
To be continued . . . see Uncommon-Path
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When I’d supported others on their healing journey, it didn’t seem that hard to see where they weren’t trusting Jesus for His healing. It was more challenging when it came time for me to decide a path for my own healing. Making decisions on my own health not only actively challenged my faith but also helped me see where I was on my faith journey.
I’d been having pain in my left shoulder blade with tingling and numbness down my left arm. After praying and declaring my healing in Jesus’ name for a couple of months, I finally told Jim about it. He then made an appointment with a chiropractor he’d gone to who’d been recommended by a friend. The evening before my appointment, a neighbor unexpectedly dropped in for a visit and updated us on his various medical issues. My interest peaked when he shared about needing neck surgery. When he described a pain that started in his neck and went down his left arm, I said I had the same thing. “That’s not good,” he said. He told us that when the pain started, he’d gone to a chiropractor, and the chiropractor got too strong and hurt him.
After our neighbor left, I thought it wasn’t a coincidence he had dropped in and told us that story. Feeling it was the guidance I’d been looking for from God, I told Jim I didn’t want to go to the chiropractor. He assured me his chiropractor was very gentle and wouldn’t hurt me. So, again I was open to the appointment until the following day when I heard Joyce Meyer on TV. She talked about how we ask God for guidance but aren’t willing to do what He says out of fear of going against what others say.
Jim and I argued back and forth about it. When he again told me his chiropractor wouldn’t hurt me, I told him God wouldn’t hurt me either. He said the doctor could do one little tweak, and it would be gone just like that. I said so could God. It could happen as soon as I choose God over the doctor. That’s when I saw the crossroads and what Joyce was warning about. I was tempted to go to the chiropractor just to please Jim. What would it hurt, I thought. It might hurt a lot, according to our neighbor. After explaining to Jim that I wanted to follow where I felt God was leading me even if I was wrong, he said he would call and postpone my appointment.
Then while at Bible study, my worship leader friend told me about a chiropractor that does, what she called, a one-finger touch treatment. She gave me his phone number and later sent me a link to his website. After checking it out, I felt it might be God’s guidance. So I made an appointment, and Jim came with me.
The doctor took x-rays and other tests that included comparing my leg lengths and a scan of my neck that produced a graph. My left leg turned out to be a half-inch shorter than my right, and my number one vertebra was out of alignment. He said it was probably from an old injury that hadn’t healed correctly. He said he could put it in the correct position and that once it’s back in place, my brain would flow correctly through my nervous system again, and my body would heal itself. That sounded good to me. Then he warned that it could be a lengthy process depending on how old my injury was. He explained that after he puts the vertebra in its correct position, it will want to go back to the place it’s been used to for so long and that it takes a few times before it will stay. I would need to be checked twice a week at first, then less and less as it holds for longer periods. He also said it would heal faster if I didn’t take any pain medication. I’d only been taking Advil, but he said he’d be opening up my nervous system, and medicine shuts it down by numbing the pain. After considering all the information, Jim and I agreed to proceed with the treatment plan.
It did turn out to be a long process. It was months before my neck started holding for more extended periods. And almost a year before the pain went away and I could get back to all my regular activities. Getting there was a rough road, though. It seemed to get worse before it got better, and there were times I feared it wouldn’t get better. As the pain in my back continued and my neck got stiffer, I started reducing activities, which ended up being just about everything. The one thing I felt I couldn’t quit was Community Bible Study (CBS) until my newly formed tech team was ready to carry on without me. I often wondered if God had another reason for making it so I wouldn’t leave CBS. It was hard just getting up and dressed, let alone all I needed to do there, so I did take an Advil or two to help me through.
Concerned friends began advising various remedies that had worked for them, such as healing oils, pain patches, stretching exercises, and massages. When I asked the chiropractor about the different things, he’d say they wouldn’t help and would only interfere with what he was doing. He kept reminding me that aligning my neck would allow my brain to flow through my nervous system normally, and my body would heal itself. It made complete sense to me, but when I tried to explain it to others, they didn’t understand and would urge me to see a medical doctor. I was starting to see that my path was not for everyone, but it still seemed right for me.
I was glad Jim agreed and supported me. He had taken me to all my appointments and heard the information from the chiropractor firsthand. He even learned how to check my leg lengths and could tell if my neck was out or holding before my checkups. Even with Jim’s support, the pressure from well-meaning friends to get an MRI became overwhelming, and I gave in. I changed medical insurance to better cover the cost of an MRI, and by the time I saw a primary doctor in the new plan, I’d much improved. The doctor ordered X-rays, the same ones as the chiropractor, no MRI, and prescribed medication. She also told me to stop seeing the chiropractor until we see if the medicine helps or not. Again I found myself at the crossroads deciding whether to stay on the path with the chiropractor where I felt God had led me or switch to the course others had urged me to go. After thinking and praying about it, I decided I would not stop seeing the chiropractor since I was getting positive results.
I’d come to know I didn’t yet have the faith to rely only on Jesus’ name for my healing like I first wanted. But from the resistance, I could tell I was on an Uncommon Path which I learned similarly takes faith. As I kept finding myself at a crossroads, I ultimately admitted that fear and doubt had brought me there. When I did, God said to me, “Now you know.” Relieved, knowing God understood and forgave me, I continued with Him where He removed the source of something holding me back. I’ll tell you about that next time.
To be continued . . . see Edification-Corridor
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My journey from Uncommon Path had brought me to what I would describe as an in-between place, a corridor perhaps. God had shown me I wouldn’t have been so easily swayed by others if it weren’t for my fear and doubt. Thinking if I had enough strength, I’d be able to stay on my path no matter what others said. But God, in His extraordinary wisdom, showed me how He can go about revealing and removing a cause of my fear and doubt.
Neck pain had caused me to quit just about everything in my life. The only thing I didn’t quit was Bible study. If I could have, I certainly would have. But I’d become the Audio/Visual Tech Leader after the two I’d worked with moved away, and I felt I had to stay and teach the two new ladies all I knew. Plus, I felt there may be another reason God had for keeping me there, and I was curious to know what it was.
With my neck finally holding in position, I was feeling better. So much so that I was starting to return to some of my regular activities. Since becoming Tech Leader, I hadn’t attended the Wednesday Leaders meetings. I’d been saving all my energy for the regular Friday Bible study where I was needed to lead my tech team. Now that I was better, I wanted to learn leadership skills to lead more successfully. I would never have thought a lesson on “edification” was what I really needed. I didn’t even know what the word meant at the time. But as it turned out, it was God’s lesson for me.
I couldn’t believe the compliments I was getting on how well I was leading my tech team. Week after week, the leaders prayed and praised God for me. I kept telling them it wasn’t me; it was the two amazing women assigned to help me, but they kept insisting it was my doing. I tried to accept it and be thankful, but inside, I thought, “That’s crazy! I’ve only been trying to teach them everything I know as fast as possible so they can carry on without me if it comes to that!” Like a flood, the compliments continued, verbally and in handwritten cards and notes. I’d never gotten so many compliments. Yet, I wasn’t feeling worthy of any. I sloughed them off, thinking they didn’t really know me. Then one morning, the Lord showed me what it was all about.
It was a difficult morning at Bible study when a particular event moved us to another part of the church from where we usually met. The equipment in that room was a little different. And though we’d met there before, it had been a while. Not only did I need to familiarize myself with the equipment there, but I also had to quickly train my team. Working together, we found and set up the microphones and were able to get all of the screens working. The one thing we couldn’t figure out was how to record. We always provided an audio file of the opening speaker and the teaching for those who couldn’t attend. While my leader tried contacting a tech from the church to help us, my team continued trying everything we could think of. It was stressful, but in those moments when I felt like giving up, something remarkable happened. All those positive words and prayers the leaders spoke about me started running through my mind, encouraging me and reminding me of how much they believed in my ability. I couldn’t let them down. So, I kept going, and so did my team. We never did figure out how to record through the soundboard, but we were able to record on one of our phones which worked out well.
The following week when the word “edification” appeared in our Bible lesson, I was curious about its meaning and looked it up in the dictionary. After reading the definition, I knew it was what I’d been experiencing! I was excited and wanted to share what I’d learned with the leaders who helped bring it about. And there happened to be a perfect question in our lesson for me to share what the Lord had taught me about edification. So, when that question came up at the following Leaders’ meeting, I put my hand up to answer. I shared how on Friday, when things got difficult, all of their prayers and compliments started running through my mind, encouraging and keeping me going. I told them I’d had trouble accepting their edifying words about me because they didn’t align with what I’d heard from my childhood. I began to cry as I told them that God was building me up and strengthening me to do things I didn’t know how to do. As I continued through my tears, I could feel the woman beside me rubbing my back in gentle little circles. As comforting as it was, I later learned there was more to it.
Later, I talked to one of the leaders, telling her that the one next to me was rubbing my back as I shared my story. She then said something that totally hadn’t occurred to me. She said, “That was God washing all those negative words spoken over you as a child from your heart!” I was so amazed! Was that from God, I wondered. Did God arrange for that woman to sit next to me and then rub my back? And then to give me the meaning of it through this other woman? Did He do all of that for me? I was curious to know for sure. So, I asked her if what she said was given to her by the Holy Spirit, and she said yes. When I asked the woman who had rubbed my back the same question, she said she had felt guided by the Spirit. It was another emotional time when I shared at the next Leaders’ meeting what the Lord had done for me right before our eyes and how they all had been a part of it.
My lesson in Edification Corridor wasn’t a new lesson. Throughout my journey, I’d had trouble accepting complimentary words spoken about me. In various ways, God has shown me how He sees me and reminded me that’s how He wants me to see myself. But I always seemed to go back to my old thinking. This time, I was given further understanding. I saw a clear difference in what I was able to do as a result of having positive thoughts about myself. Plus, I witnessed God’s incredible leadership skills in action. I saw firsthand how He goes about leading others to accomplish His healing work in us. I couldn’t have had a better leader to teach me leadership skills! Thank you, Lord!
To be continued . . . see Reflection-Creek
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My desire to see God work through me seems to inspire some and worry others. Some say reading my journey to what I call “The Greater Life” helps them see the possibilities of the power of Jesus in and through them. Some find my pursuit thought-provoking and challenging to their own pursuits in the Lord. Yet another worries that my desire to do the works Jesus did may be misunderstood by some to mean that I want to be Jesus. I stopped to ponder these things after a friend asked me a question. She asked, “Is The Greater Life a destination, or could it be this journey where God is granting your heart’s desire? Might God want you to have an insatiable appetite for His greater good and higher purpose, at all times in all things while you’re sojourning on this earth?” My first thought was that I’d already come to what I called “A Better Life” shortly after my journey began. So if I got there, The Greater Life must be a destination, too, right? As I reflected more on what my friends had to say, God continued teaching me, giving me even more to ponder.
I learned a more effectual way to pray while praying for my brother Glenn before he was taken to surgery. When I asked if I could pray for him, he agreed. So I said a simple prayer, asking God to be with him and to see that everything goes perfectly well. And adding that there would be no pain. As soon as I heard those words come out of my mouth, I thought, “Wait, what?! I just prayed for a painless surgery?” I didn’t say anything, but while Jim and I were in the waiting room, I couldn’t help thinking about the prayer. How crazy I thought it was to pray for a painless surgery. How could there be such a thing? I knew Glenn had had the same surgery before and dreaded the pain. Even so, I could see myself praying for little or tolerable pain, but for no pain? That didn’t seem like something I would think to pray. That’s when I got the idea it was God. God had put those words in my mouth to pray!
Later, after the surgery, it didn’t seem so crazy when my brother had no pain. Not when the anesthesia wore off. Not even after being moved to his room did he want any pain medication. Nor when the physical therapist came to walk him around the hallways. I first suspected a miracle when the therapist was surprised that Glenn had no pain. When Glenn sat up in bed, swung his legs around the side, and stood up, the therapist said, “Wow, most guys would be doubled over in pain.” That was when I was convinced it was a miracle.
When I shared the experience with a pastor at church, she confirmed my thinking that the words I spoke in my prayer were from the Holy Spirit. I was amazed at how easily the miracle came, yet there was something I still didn’t understand. So I asked, “Lord, thank you for bringing my brother through surgery without pain, but he doesn’t know it was You that did that for him. I tried to tell him, but it went right by him. I’m not even sure Jim realizes it was You answering my prayer. I’m the only one that seems to see it, but even I thought it was crazy when I said it. So how did it happen?” That’s when I realized that God was teaching me how to pray effectually; He gives me the words, I speak them out, and He does the work. So simple. And now that I’ve seen how it works, I want to see more!
Later that year, the Lord pointed out something I hadn’t thought to pray for, perhaps because I didn’t think God did those things. The one thing I couldn’t catch onto as the Tech at Bible study was setting the sound volumes for the worship team. From what I understood, I should be able to hear who is singing the melody and who’s singing the harmony and adjust the sliders on the soundboard accordingly. But for some reason, I couldn’t seem to get it right. Neither could the others on my team. To help us, the worship leader started including notes with the lyrics of who would be singing the melody so I’d know to turn that mic up a little. I did my best but judging by their rising level of frustration, it wasn’t working out as planned. I felt awful, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Finally, I went to God with it and said, “Lord, what should I do?”
The answer came Sunday during the sermon at church. While the pastor was talking about harmony in the body of Christ, I heard that I should let the Holy Spirit set the volume levels. My first thought when I heard it was, “But how would He move the sliders on the . . .?” Then, in the middle of my thought, I remembered, “Oh yeah, God can do all things.” Excited about how it would happen, I said, “Ok, Lord, do it! You set the sound levels!” So, Friday, during the sound check, I thought we’d see the sliders move by themselves. But another Tech got to the soundboard first and set the volumes. When I tweaked them a little, we immediately looked at each other and knew it sounded great! At the end of the morning, we got compliments from the worship team and others who came by the sound booth to tell us how good the music sounded. I took it all as confirmation from God that He had set the sound levels. It was further confirmed the following year when guest musicians came to sing Christmas songs. After their performance, the drummer’s father told me we’d done a good job setting the sound volumes. His compliment meant even more to me when he added he was a retired soundman and listed a few big-name sound stages where he’d worked, which included Disney. I relaxed after that, believing God must be pleased to have sent a professional to encourage me.
So, after pondering my friend’s question, I still think The Greater Life is a destination, and I think I’ll recognize it when I get there. It’ll be where I’ll see happen what Jesus talked about in John 14:12: “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to My Father.” I admit my motivation in seeking The Greater Life may not always be to please God. I want to see people healed when I pray. I want to know what it’s like to feel the power of God come through me. I want to experience what Jesus said I would in John 14:12. And I believe the Lord is leading me there from what I learned at Reflection Creek. What the Lord taught me when I prayed before my brother’s surgery was a huge step toward it–He gives me the words to say, I say them, and He does the work. So simple! And He slipped those words to me without realizing it was Him until after I thought about it. I didn’t know how God set the sound volumes, and I still don’t. But now that I’ve seen God do things I hadn’t even thought to pray for, I want to see more like it and even greater things.
To be continued . . . see Parade-Park
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My lessons on prayer and pondering continued when something happened after serving in our church’s tent at the city’s annual parade and festival. It seemed to be the start of experiences to bring about the healing miracles I’d wanted to see.
As people filed into the park after the parade, Jim and I were ready with games, prizes, and treats for the kids. We also answered questions about our church and offered literature to those interested. After our shift, we strolled through the park, checked out some other activities, looked through the classic cars on display, and selected something for lunch from among the many vendors. With our lunch in hand, we spotted a couple of available seats at a picnic table with two other couples. When we asked if we could share their table, they politely welcomed us. Nothing more was said while we ate until one of the couples got up and left, and a woman and two young men quickly took their place. They immediately began a conversation with us and the other couple. When one said, “Can I ask you a question?” my first thought was that it would be about God, and I suspected the other couple thought so too. It did turn out to be about God, but not at all what I was thinking. They asked if there was anything they could pray for us. Before Jim or I could say anything, the other couple asked if they were from a church. When they named their Christian church, the woman asked for prayer for her husband’s Spinal Stenosis. The three, in turn, prayed for Al, asking the Lord to heal his spine and shower Al with His love and blessings.
After the prayer, we chatted, waiting to see Al’s healing. The ones who prayed asked why we were all there. Al and his wife said they had lived down the street for 59 years and always enjoyed the annual parade and festival. When I said that Jim and I were there helping in our church’s tent, they asked if we prayed for people. No, I said, we were so busy playing games and answering questions I didn’t think to ask, but we definitely should have. They shared that they wanted to see miracles and decided to go out and pray for people. They said this was their first time and that it was scary. I encouraged them by saying what a great job they were doing. I sat amazed at how they went about it and how appreciative Al and his wife were that they had prayed for him. We were all wanting to see a miracle for him. I also found it interesting that while I’d wanted to see miracles, these young people stopped by and showed me how to do it.
Another opportunity presented itself a few months later during our early Valentine’s dinner. While waiting for our meal, two couples were seated at the table across from us. After observing them for a few minutes, I surmised they were two sisters with their husbands. Spontaneously, I told them how I had them figured out. The ladies laughed and said the guys were lifelong buddies with their wives. One added that they were there celebrating the other couple’s 50th wedding anniversary.
A few minutes later, the manager came to their table. I heard him say, “Do you want me to call 911?” They said “yes,” and the manager quickly went away. From what I overheard, it seemed the woman celebrating her anniversary was having a possible stroke. I silently started praying for her. A few minutes later, four paramedics with a gurney came between our tables. They checked out the woman, and then I heard one say to the other, “There’s weakness on the entire left side.” Then they lifted the woman onto the gurney. I was tempted to reach out my hand and pray in Jesus’s name, but I didn’t. As they were leaving, the other couple apologized to Jim and me. I told them not to worry about us and that we were praying for their friends and them. She thanked me and said they had just returned from a three-week cruise celebrating their anniversary. I continued to pray as they came to my mind for the rest of the night.
The following morning they were still on my mind. It bothered me that I didn’t touch the woman and say a quick prayer while the gurney was right in front of me. I regretted missing that opportunity to exercise my faith and save a life. While micing the teaching director at Bible study, I shared what had happened at dinner the night before and regretting not laying hands on the woman and praying for her in the restaurant. Sharon said she knew me, and I would have acted if God had prompted me. I wasn’t as sure and confessed to her that I thought the fear of looking foolish may have kept me from responding. She understood but insisted I would have acted if I was sure it was right. Although I loved that she said she knew me and believed I would have acted if God instructed, I still wasn’t so sure. But decided to think of it as a learning and growing experience.
Later I shared the story and what the teaching director said about it with my worship leader friend. Her response was similar: “I sure understand how fear can take over and keep us quiet. And even though that may have been part of the equation, I think Sharon is right. If God had truly needed you to reach out and speak out, He would have made it so clear that the fear would have been overpowered. Sometimes His work is done in quiet, faithful prayer.” She also agreed with me that God was using it as a learning and growing experience and was praying God would use it to grow us both.
In previous lessons, I learned how God could work through me without realizing it. So, did He this time, also? Could my mistake be in second guessing what I did? Were my friends right that I would have acted if God had prompted me? Or had I ignored God’s prompting out of fear? I still wasn’t sure. Nor could I be sure God hadn’t acted on my silent prayers to heal the woman. What I was sure of was that I was learning. I’d learned from strangers that prayer is appreciated and makes people feel loved. By confiding in trusted Christian friends that know me, I’d learned some about myself and that they, too, can grow from my experiences. So, the lesson from Parade Park is to keep learning and growing. And as my journey continued, I found out just how clearly God can communicate and get me to act on His prompting. I’ll share that next time.
To be continued . . . see Virtual-Island
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